The Cullens do Wife Swap
by rhoda17
Summary: The Cullen kids decide to get back at Carlisle and Esme, so they sign up for Wife Swap. They are going to make this episode of Wife Swap the most memorable of all. Their will be a few surprises thrown into the story. This is my first story so please r&r.
1. The Application

**So this is my first fanfic, I got this idea from reading other peoples versions, after about a week of reading these I started coming up with ideas of how I could write a story based around Twilight and Wife Swap, for those who've already read this chapter I am updating it, seeing as all my chapters have gotten better as I've wrote this. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own any of the Twilight characters *sighs***

**The rest of the story is mine though *yeah!***

_Emmett's POV_

"So what are we going to do then?" I asked.

"How about, burn all their clothes?" Alice suggested.

"Superb idea Alice, just one thing that would only be a great idea if the person we were targeting was you." Edward concluded.

"Edward..." Bella began.

"No Edwards's right." Rose said. "We need to think of something else."

No-one had any ideas. You be wondering to why we were doing this. Last month Carlisle and Esme got back at each and everyone of us, without us even noticing. So we had decided that we were going to do something back to them.

Carlisle and Esme targeted each of the _couples, _as you might say and worked together to get back at us, but they were extremely sneaky. They targeted Alice and Jasper first with the unknown help of Jacob. Carlisle stopped all of Alice's credit cards for three weeks, and Esme hid all of Jaspers war belongings.

For Rose and I they constantly created messes, in our room around the house...etc, and Rose kept complaining at me. So I started to get back at Rose, which was basically our parents plan.

For Bella and Edward, they got Bella to help them by covering up their minds. They told her they were planning a surprise and they didn't want Edward to accidently find out, their _surprise _was pretending to get rid of all of Edward's music, so guess what Edward did, he got angry at Bella and threw her books out to see how she liked it. Imagine how she felt when she found out, she had a fight with Edward, and that went on for about a week.

"Wife Swap..." I said.

To me it seemed like a great idea, our parents would be separated for two weeks, Carlisle would have to deal with the new _mother _and Esme would have to deal with the mothers family, so it would a great plan.

"Really Emmett? Wife Swap?" Rose snickered at me.

"OMG! That's a great idea, let's do it! Please, pretty please?" Alice begged. "I can sort out the paper work, and Emmett or Edward can do the video."

They all eventually nodded in agreement.

_Alice's POV_

I went straight to the computer and got up the required document that we would need to fill out. I printed it out immediately, and started to fill it in. As I looked through the form it seemed that this would require more effort than I first thought.

"Guys... I may need your help with this." I called out to everyone.

Everyone came straight to the study room. We all pulled up chairs around the table, before we started anything.

Wife Swap Application Form

**Family Name: **_Cullen_

"We can't all be Cullen, where-ever we go me and Jasper are the Hale's" Rose complained.

"Fine then."

I added to the form that two members of the family were Hale's.

"Guy's we need to sort out our relationships as well, us kids can't be dating anyone else and some of us are going to have to be _blood _related as well, so that it won't seem so weird that Carlisle and Esme have so many _adopted _children." Edward said.

"We'll sort it out in a minute," I said.

**Fathers Name and Age: **_Carlisle Aged 35_

**Mothers Name and Age: **_Esme Aged 33_

**Names and Ages of the Children:**

_Emmett 18_

_Jasper 18_

_Rosalie 18_

_Edward 17_

_Isabella 17_

_Alice 17_

_Renesmee 17_

_Jacob 20_

"Are we really including Jacob into this?" Rose asked.

"We have to, since he practically lives here, and plus it will be more fun." Edward concluded.

"We have to put down somewhere that we are all adopted, don't forget that." Bella said.

**Responsibilities in the Family**

**Child care: **_Esme_

**Shopping: **_Alice_

"Of course it would be Alice, she allows no-one else to shop." Jasper said.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

**Cleaning and cooking:**

"Guys we know Esme cleans the house, but what about cooking, no-one apart from Jacob and Nessie eats."

"Alice just put down Esme, it will come across as us being spoilt brats." Rose said

**Family diet:**

"_Vegetarians"_ Everyone said

"But put down that only two members of the family eat meat, other wise Jake and Nessie will kill us." Bella said

**Problems that may occur:**

_The children like to play planks, mainly the boys._

_The girls like to shop a lot._

_The boys spend most of their time playing around on games._

_Everyone has a bit of a temper._

_The boys like to fight, but the girls sometimes will join in if they have offended them in anyway._

_If you offend one of them, you have offended all._

**Does the family own any pets:**

"Yes..." Rose said. "We have a huge dog."

"Rose," Everyone complained.

"Put down he's a stray, sometimes he's here, sometimes he's not. At least it would explain itself, if Jacob showed up here in his other form." Rose defended herself.

And with that the form was completed.

"Okay now can we sort out our relationships?" Edward asked.

"Sure," I chirped.

"Jasper and I are twins, everyone knows that so what about everyone else?" Rose asked.

"Nessie and I will have to be some sort of relation, would it work out if we were twins, or would it be better if we were brother and sister?" Edward asked.

"We put down that Nessie was the same age as you so you're gonna have to be twins," I said.

"If we have two sets of twins that means the rest of us can be unrelated, otherwise it may cause some sort of suspicion," Bella started to say "But if we need to change it a little, I'm sure Emmett and I can be shown as blood brother and sister, and that would work seeing as he's older than we, from what we put down,"

"We'll do that if need be, put for now I think it will be fine as it is," Edward told her

"Right time to start on the video, everyone into their stations..." I said.

_I hope that this is a better version of my first chapter, I wanted to update it a while back but just left it. Now I have the chance and I have done, I hope everyone like it!_


	2. Watching the Video

**Disclaimer: I still don't own any of the twilight characters**

_Carlisle's POV_

Esme and I had returned from a hunting trip. Our children had been driving us insane, so we got a little pay back for them; we were surprised when they didn't retaliate back.

"Just going to go get the mail, see you inside." Esme said.

I hurried up to the house, and was yet again surprised to see that the house was still intact, it was also too quiet.

"Hey dad, were in the living room." Edward called out to me.

I stepped into the living room to see that they were all watching a movie together. Bella was sat with Rose on one couch; Nessie and Alice were on another. The boys, apart from Jacob, were sat on the floor playing a card game. Jacob was sat in the only chair that spins.

Everyone smiled at me, once they saw me. "We're watching Freaky Friday, wanna join us?" Alice asked.

_This is too good too be true _I thought

"Carlisle, we did as you asked and decided to get along. We realized that we needed to put away our differences and act normal." Edward commented.

"FAMILY MEETING NOW!" I heard Esme yell.

We all headed into the kitchen were Esme was. She was holding a letter in her hand.

"Someone explain to me what this is, and why?" she eventually asked.

"We're going on Wife Swap" Everyone, but Jacob and Nessie, replied.

"Wife Swap?"

"Come on Carlisle, did you really think we wouldn't get back at you for what you did to us?" Alice replied

"Where's the video at, I want to see it now?" Esme whispered.

"Sure Esme..." They all ran out of the room to get a tape.

After they had found it they put it on for Esme and I to see.

"Hello!" A voice that sounded remarkably like mine said. "My name is Carlisle Cullen. Me and my wife Esme..."

It cut to a clip showing Esme cooking and cleaning in the kitchen.

"... Have adopted 8 children who all live with us. We have two sets of twins, Jasper and Rosalie, we have fostered them since they were 8 years old..."

It showed Jasper and Rosalie working in the garage together. "Hi my name is Jasper and this is my little twin Sister Rose"

"I'm only a minute younger than you" Rosalie on screen complained.

Jasper gave her little apologetic smile, and she smiled back before they returned to fixing up a car.

"...my other sets of twins are Edward and Renesmee. They both came to us when they lost their parents in a car accident, we were their godparents..."

They clip on screen showed Nessie and Edward messing about in the garden, play fighting.

"Daddy, is that what you were doing?" Nessie questioned.

"Yeah, that's why I told you not to say the words Dad, Daddy or Father for the hour." Edward told her.

Back on the screen it cut to Alice and Bella talking about shopping and books.

"... These are my other two daughters Alice and Bella. They love to shop, especially Alice she's a shop-a-holic, and read books, but they do get into arguments a lot, oh and look here comes one of my other sons Emmett."

"Hi Dad... girls the boys wanted to know if you wanted to join in with our game, but I must warn you it may turn into a fight."

At that the screen cut off, it suddenly showed Jacob standing in the kitchen making him-self something to eat.

"... and finally this is my son Jacob, Jacob was the last to join our family, but he is fiercely protective of the family."

"My ass." Jacob said "I'm only protective of Nessie, and you all know it."

"Well it wouldn't come out right if we said that Jacob." Edward snapped.

Finally on screen it showed me working in the hospital, and reading in my personal office.

"... I am a Doctor at the local hospital. When I am not at the hospital I can be found studying in my office. Thank you for looking at this, I can't wait to see if you will include us in your show."


	3. Sorting out the Rooms

**Disclaimer: Do I own Twilight yet?**

**Nope sorry, still don't own them.**

_Esme__'__s POV_

I couldn't believe it the actually signed us up for that show, out of all of the things they could have done, this was one Carlisle and I were not expecting.

"Don't worry about this Esme, Alice has ensured that everything will work out. The weather will be suitable for you, where you're going,"

"Edward..." I began.

"Listen, we have come across as being spoilt brats, and we have all agreed that we aren't going to show our relationships to the whole world or the new mother. Alice and Rose are going to share a room, and so are Bella and Nessie. Emmett and Jasper will share a room, and I will share with Jacob."

"Why do I have to share with you?" Jacob complained.

"Well it's either you share with me, or you can keep out of the house altogether."

"Fine." Jacob grumbled.

Alice chimed in "They will be picking you up tomorrow, so we are going to move out stuff around, and buy some new things for our rooms."

"Okay." I replied.

Carlisle finally asked "How are you going to come across as spoilt brats?"

"Well we are going to say that you and Esme allow us to do whatever we want. We can stay up as late as we want as well..."

Everyone laughed, including me and Carlisle.

"...obviously us girls love to shop so were going to show the new mom that we spend thousands on clothing a day, and the boys are going to fight a lot, and get away with it." Alice said.

"What am I going to write in the manual that I have to do?"

"Don't worry mom, we've taken care of it." Edward said.

The rest of the night was spent in chaos. Rose and Alice had finally decided that they were going to stay in Alice's room, after a few threats to Emmett and Jasper. Bella moved into Nessie's room but asked if it was okay to change her half of the room, so it would look like she had been in their the whole time, I agreed. Jasper moved his stuff into Rose's room.

Alice had bought Jacob a whole new wardrobe of clothing, shoes and accessories, as well as a bunch of car magazines and posters, which Edward put up for him. All of the double beds were moved down to the basement, were they would be kept for the next few weeks.

Edward and Jacob had decided to get a bunk bed, Jacob got a green bed set for himself, and Edward got blue. Their room actually looked like they had been sharing the whole time.

All of the girls got separate single beds; they put them in two corners of the room. They had their names professional done on a plaques and put them above their beds. They split their walk in wardrobes up as well, and had other bits of furniture all around their rooms.

Emmett and Jasper also decided to get two single beds, but they lined their up against one wall, and gave themselves a two meter distance, as well as two bedside tables with alarm clocks, between them.

After they had finished we decided to go out for a hunt as a family before I went. Jacob stayed in the house to look after Nessie who was fast asleep, by the time we came back Jacob was fast asleep of the floor outside her room.

_Most of this story is going to be from the Cullen's side, but I will be including bits from Esme's POV but I think the Cullen's will be much more funnier :P_


	4. Sarah's Family

**Disclaimer: I still don't own any of the Twilight characters**

_Sarah's POV_

I went outside to go and collect our mail, when I came across a letter from Wife Swap.

"Jerry, we're going to be on Wife Swap." I yelled at my husband.

My name is Sarah Thompson. Me and my husband, of 15 years, have three children. Luke and Leila who are twins, they have just turned 13, and my youngest daughter Lola, she's only 8.

My children are well known as being the best well-behaved children in New York City. They are also social active within the community. The twins do 12 activities a week between them whilst Lola only does 4.

When I first watched Wife Swap I was disgusted by most of the children's behaviour, I would never allow my children to behave like that. I decided to apply for Wife Swap to teach the world, as well as the families whose children I would be with, about good manners.

It was a week later when the camera crew arrived. I shouted the children downstairs so I could remind them of the rules once more. And with that we were off.

The car journey took 3 hours before we arrived in Alaska. I was wondering were about's we were heading, just as the car turned into a wooded area. I was sure that the driver was lost, that was until we pulled up outside a three story house.

"It looks... lovely." I stammered out.

Who would live in a house like this?

As I turned the key that I had been given into the lock, I was shocked at how clean and tidy the place was. I was speechless. I walked into the living room and saw the biggest TV you could ever imagine. "Looks like they sit in front of the TV a lot, it's no good for them."

I decided to go and check up stairs, the first room I came across belonged to a girl, on a second note and glance, two girls. They had a massive walk in wardrobe that in my opinion had too many clothes, shoes and accessories in it. In their room I could see that they had laptops and iPods.

"Spoilt." Was the only thing I could say.

The next room I walked into belonged to two boys. "Four children, that's okay I can deal with that."

I walked up the next lot of steps and saw yet again another two bedrooms; one was a master bedroom, and the other belonged to two more girls. _Two boys, 4 girls what have I got my self into?_

I went up the final set of stairs to find two more doors, in one of the rooms there was a single bed with bed stuff set at the bottom of it, this must be the guest room where I would be sleeping. The other room had a bunk bed, too many car magazines and hundreds of CD's. Two more boys.

"How many people live in this house?" I asked to no-one in particular.

I decided to head downstairs and find the kitchen. I saw the manual I am supposed to read there. It read:

_Hi new mom,_

_My name is Esme Cullen I am 33 years old. By now I assume that you have had a look around our house. Me and my husband, Carlisle, have adopted 8 children__._

"8 children, how does she take care of them all?"

_We have two sets of twins, Jasper and Rosalie who are 18, and Edward and Renesmee who are 17. Our other adopted children are: Emmett who is 18, Jacob who is 20, and Alice and Isabella, who are 17._

"They're in their teens as well, this is bad news."

_This is my daily schedule_

_6.30 am- Wake up_

_7 am- Wake the Children up_

_8 am- Children set off to school_

_From 9 am to 3.30pm I clean the house, buy groceries, and prepare dinner, for if the kids want something to eat. _

_3.30pm- the children arrive back home from school, they have various activities around the house they like to do_

_11pm- I go to bed, the children don't have a set bed-time, they can go to sleep when they want to._

"I am definitely going to be changing this schedule; children shouldn't get the choice in what they want to do."

_The children tend to play jokes a lot, and will definitely get into an argument at some point, they can also make a lot of noise, if they make a mess never get them to clean it up, I have found out that if they do they will make the mess 10 times worse than it is._

_Other than that you should be fine._

_Good luck,_

_Esme xx_

That's when I heard cars pulling up, it was time to meet this insane family, and straighten them out.


	5. Introducing Ourselves to the new Mom

**Disclaimer: As much as I would love to, I still don't own the Twilight Characters**

_Alice POV_

"I have the perfect idea of how we can introduce our-selves to our new mom." I told the others.

We were sat in the local cafe, waiting until we were told that we could head back home. Carlisle had bumped into a friend of his from the hospital so they were talking, as for us we were gathered around a big table whispering.

"Nice plan." Edward said.

I stuck my tongue out at him, and proceeded to tell the others of how we were going to introduce our-selves.

When we got told we could head home, we piled into three cars. Carlisle was driving his own, and the rest of us split into two groups. I was in the car with Edward, Emmett and Bella. The others were in Rosalie's car.

As we pulled up Jasper and Rose started to argue, their part of the plan was that Jazz was going to end up picking her up and hanging her upside down until she would apologize, but since she won't be apologizing, he would end up dragging her inside. Bella and Emmett got out of our car and Emmett 'snuck' up behind Bella, and threw her over his shoulder.

"Emmett, put Bella down." Edward said. "Jacob what are you doing to my little sister."

"Shut up Eddie, I can fight my own battles." Nessie replied.

Her part in this was to punch Jacob then he would grab her from behind, pick her up, whilst she 'tries' to break free, but he just walked inside the house.

"Ness, don't talk like..."

I cut Edward off by jumping onto his back.

"HERE COMES PIXIE'S ATTACK" I yelled

Edward pretended that he was trying to get me off his back, and laughing at me for my stupidity.

Carlisle just shook his head as he entered the living room and saw what we were doing, "Children." He said. "We have a visitor; boys please put your sisters down."

"Nessie hit me, that's why I'm teaching her a lesson." Jacob complained.

"Alice jumped onto my back, and she won't get off." Edward said.

"Rose accused me of taking her mobile, so I'm not letting her go until she apologizes" Jasper commented.

"Never!" was Rose's reply.

"Emmett, why have you got hold of Bella?" Carlisle asked in a tired voice.

Everyone paused when we hear someone mumble under their breath 'spoilt brats'

"She said she would whip my ass of a certain game, and that I played like a girl."

"I did not Emmett; I said that even Nessie could beat you, no offence Ness." Bella said.

"For the last time, boys put your sisters down and please line up in a straight line please. You have 10 seconds."

We all complied.

"Sorry about that, I'm Carlisle Cullen." He offered the women his hand.

"Sarah Thompson." Was all the strange woman replied.

"Kids, please introduce yourself."

"Hi I'm Rosalie; this is my twin brother Jasper."

"Rose, I can introduce my-self you know."

"I know you can, but I prefer to introduce us both, your not gonna argue with you little sis now, are you?"

With that Jasper kept quiet, but he gave Rosalie a little smile and a little laugh at her pouted face.

Edward was next "My name is Edward, and this is my little sister Renesmee."

"But I prefer being called Nessie; you won't get a reply if you call me Renesmee." Nessie said.

"I'm Isabella, but I prefer to be called Bella."

"Hi, I'm Jacob, you can't call me Jake unless I say so, isn't that right guys?"

Everyone laughed at Jacobs comment.

"Last but certainly not least, I'm Alice."

"Boy's, can you get Sarah's bags for her and take them to the guest bedroom please, actually Jasper and Emmett, you two get the bags, Jacob and Edward can you set up the room please."

With that the boys gave Carlisle and salute and went off to the jobs they had been assigned.

_Sarah's POV_

"Boy's, can you get Sarah's bags for her and take them to the guest bedroom please, actually Jasper and Emmett, you two get the bags, Jacob and Edward can you set up the room please." Carlisle had asked.

The boys actually saluted Carlisle before they went off to do the job that Carlisle told them to do. All I could think was _what on earth is wrong with them?_

I went outside and was about to apologize for my bags being heavy, but the boys grabbed the handles, picked them up, walked up the stairs with them at ease. They took them directly to the guest bedroom where the other two boys had almost finished setting up the room.

"You two are slow coaches you know that, I could do that 10 times quicker with my eyes closed." Emmett said.

"Me too." Jasper said.

"Alright it's on, were going to have a competition later on then." Edward said.

As soon as they finished they ran out of the room, and shouted downstairs to the girls about their plans.


	6. Esme's Arrival

**Disclaimer: I would love to own the characters, but I've been told that I'm not a loud, oh well!**

Esme's POV

My arrival in New York was uneventful. We had arrived at a plain two story house. The garden was a mess, and didn't look like it had been tended too in years. After my little walk around the house I was extremely disappointed, none of the rooms had any character.

When I had read the manual from the women who lived here I got the impression that she is very strict. It seems that she makes her children do all of the chores and cooking.

When I finally heard a car pull up I felt very tense. A tall bronze haired man walked through the door, followed by three others who I assumed were his children.

"Hello I'm Jerry Thompson." He introduced. "Introduce your-self please children."

"I'm Luke and I'm thirteen." The only boy said.

"I'm Leila; I'm Luke's twin sister, so I'm 13 as well."

"I'm Lola, I'm 8."

"Well it's really nice to meet you all, I'm Esme Cullen."

"Nice to meet you Esme." Gerry said. "Tell us about your family.

"Well I have 8 adopted children..."

Everyone gasped

"4 of them are 17, 3 of them are 18 and we have one who is 20."

They all stared at me with there mouths hanging open.

Great.

10 minutes, that's how long they stared at me for. Lola was the quickest to recover, she stared at me for only about 2 minutes, and whilst the others were still recovering she asked me some questions.

"What are they like? Your children I mean."

"Well they're very protective of one another; I always say to people, 'if you annoy one of them, you've annoyed all of them'." I told her with a little laugh.

"Luke is very protective of Leila and me, he always walks me to school, sometimes straight into my classroom, he always asks me how my day was."

"That's what my lot do as well, but sometimes they can be quite loud, since they're all very talkative."

"8 adopted teenagers, how do you manage that?" Jerry finally said.

"Don't about that, they look out after one another, we have always worked like a team to get things organized." I replied cheerily.

"Would you like some help with taking your bags to your room?" Jerry asked.

"No Thank You, I can manage, what time should I start making dinner?"

"6 O'clock."

And with that I headed straight up to my room.

_Lola's POV_

Esme seems like a very nice person, I felt so stupid for staring at her like I did, but I did wonder how she could cope with 8 teenagers. Mum and Dad struggle with 2 teenagers, so I didn't see how she could make it work.

Whilst the rest of my family where still staring at Esme, like the idiots that they are, I decided to ask Esme my questions.

"What are they like?" this was the first thing that came to my mind. "Your children I mean."

She told me that her children stuck together, she even told me that if one of them got annoyed, they all did. I like the sound of her family, it sounded a bit like Luke when he is looking out for me.

I told Esme about Luke, and she said that it reminded her of how her children were with one another, I really like Esme.

My Dad finally snapped out of his state and basically asked Esme the same questions that I had asked her. If it were Mum, she would have said 'well you should have been listening', but Esme told my Dad the same thing, even with a smile on her face.

_Luke POV_

Esme seems really nice, when Dad asked her if she needed help with taking her bags up to her room, I was set on offering her some help, but she just smiled at my Dad, and said "No Thank You." Then she asked him when she should start making Dinner.

My sisters and I watched Esme carry three, big and heavy looking, bags up the stairs. She also carried another two bags up with her, smiled at us and told us that her daughter Alice had begged her to be able to pack her bags that was why she had so much stuff.

Lola and Leila asked her if they could come sit in her room to talk to her for a while, and she said yes. I followed the girls upstairs and sat in Esme's room also. Its not that I don't trust her, its just I am very protective of my sisters, I am always with them where-ever I go.

_I need some ideas of games the the Cullens would play, any ideas would be great :D_


	7. Day 1- Troublesome Night

**Thank you to everyone that has reviewed my story,I am grateful for all of the suggestions I have got, CarlyClaireAuthor your idea gave me has helped me do another chapter, I'm just debating whether or not to have it in the first or second week.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own any Twilight Characters**

_Bella POV_

All of us girls saw Sarah's shocked expression when Jasper and Emmett walked with ease carrying her cases up the stairs. We were doing each others hair and nails when we heard them shouting downstairs about a competition they had just come up with.

"Bella, block my mind please." Alice requested.

"We're not joing in are we?" Rose asked.

"No way, we're just gonna cheer them on." I said.

The boys had asked us to get 4 camping beds from the basement so they could do the competition. When Sarah came down the stairs 10 minutes later, the boys we're almost ready to begin.

"Sarah..." Nessie shouted. "Come join us."

Sarah reluctantly sat down with us to watch the boys.

"On your marks..." I began. "Get set... GO!"

With that the boys set off making a bed, ha-ha!, as fast as they could at a human pace. Jasper was in the lead, until Emmett accidently crashed into him. Silly Emmett, he had bent far too forward and basically rolled right into Jasper.

Jacob and Edward were still battling it out, Jacob by the looks of it was saying something silently to Edward, so I used my shield to block Jacob's thoughts from Edward.

Edward and Jacob finished at the same time, but argued about it, until each of us girls told them both that they'd finished at the same time.

Jasper and Emmett wanted a rematch, but we told them no. They decided that they would all go outside and tag team wrestle then. Now that was funny to watch. Emmett got paired up with Jacob, and Jasper and Edward had to work together. The fight lasted for two and a half hours.

_Sarah's POV_

They have just been fighting for two and a half hours without taking a break; none of them have even broken a sweat. I decided it was time to break off the fight.

"Is anyone hungry?" I asked.

All of them, except Renesmee and Jacob, said no.

Jacob and Renesmee went straight to the kitchen and made cold cut sandwiches which they took outside to eat whilst the others were still messing around.

At 10.30 pm they all came back inside.

"Aren't you going to bed?" I asked them.

"Not yet..." they all replied.

They had gathered in a circle and were talking in hushed whispers; even I couldn't hear what they were saying. For 15 minutes they watched the TV until Jacob stood up.

"Night guys."

"Night Jacob." They all replied without even looking up.

10 minutes later Renesmee stood up.

"I'm gonna go listen to music in my room for a while, Bella if I'm asleep please don't wake me up like you did last time."

Isabella stood up and gave her a hug whilst mumbling "Sorry sis."

Renesmee was about to walk out of the room when Edward called her over. He was sat on the settee so she sat on his knee whilst he gave her a hug. He kissed her forehead and said "Night, Night sleep tight..."

"Don't let the bed bugs bite." Renesmee finished.

It was midnight before the rest of them decided to go to bed. I decided to give them about 10 minutes before checking on them. I looked in on Rosalie and Alice, first, to see that they were both fast asleep. It was the same with Jasper and Emmett. Bella was half-awake when I looked into her room; she put her book down, turned her music off and went straight to sleep.

Jacob was still awake in his and Edward's room.

"Edward give me back my teddy now."

"Give me back my teddy and I'll give you yours."

"I'll come up there and take it from you."

"You won't get it if I throw it out the window."

"No fair, just give me it back; you know I can't sleep without it."

I noticed throughout their conversation their voices had raised. I saw Isabella, Alice and Rosalie walking up to their door, and without knocking they barged in.

"Oy you two, us three were asleep, now give each other your teddies back and go to sleep." I think Isabella had said.

"If you wake us up again, there'll be serious consequences." It sounded a lot like Alice.

"And you don't want to find out what will happen."

Suddenly the two other boys were walking into Jacob and Edward's room.

"Are you two still taking each other teddies, I thought you two had grown up."

"Just give them back, and then me and Jasper, as well as the girls can get back to sleep."

"Ladies, Emmett and I will escort you back to your rooms, now boys you heard the girls, if we hear a slight peep out of you you'll have consequences from us as well."

And with that Jasper and Emmett walked the three girls back to their rooms, and said night to each of them.

"Here's your teddy..." I heard Jacob and Edward say to one another.

I went down stairs to find Carlisle in the living room. He was just finishing up on his dinner. He headed up the stairs.

I watched as he entered Alice and Rosalie's room, kissed each of their foreheads and said night to them. When he entered Jasper and Emmett's room, they said night to him before he got the chance to say it to them. As he did with Rosalie and Alice, he did the same to Renesmee and Isabella.

He knocked on the door to Edward and Jacob's room.

"Boy's I hear you've been taking each others teddies again, you know you're not supposed to... any way good night... I'll talk to you both in the morning."

He turned to face me. "Night Sarah." And then he headed off into his room.


	8. Esme's First Night

**I was going to upload this and another chapter on Saturday but I wasn't able to, I maybe only able to upload my chapters at least once a week, but thank you to everyone that has been asking me to upload, it's giving me a real boost.**

**Disclaimer:The day I say that I own the Twilight Characters, will be the day that I've been told that I can tell three lies, as long as I say that I don't later**

_Esme's POV_

My first night with the Thompson family went much better than it did back home. The girls had followed me up to my room; Luke had also followed us up. Lola and Leila looked like they had never seen so many clothing, some of the clothing I had, they had never seen before.

"I think the blue dress is the prettiest." Lola said.

"No, the pink one is much prettier; it goes with Esme's skin color." Leila argued.

"How about, there both beautiful, and Esme would look nice in any color, so you two win a point each." Luke told them.

"Ok..." they both replied.

For one whole hour we were sat on the bedroom floor talking about our families. The children told me some funny stories of things they have done to each other and what they did when they were little, I told them some tales about my children, but I had to lie, just a little.

"Right I had better go and start dinner." I said as I stood up.

"Esme, can I help you?" Luke asked.

"Of course you can, as long as you've finished your homework."

"I have Esme, and thank you."

"Your welcome, girls make sure that you do some homework, if you get stuck come and find me, and I'll help you, ok?"

They both nodded and went straight into their rooms. Luke and I headed downstairs to cook the meal. Luke showed me where everything was, and I set him chopping the carrots and peeling the potatoes.

Luke and I talked whilst we cooked, he told me about some of the clubs he and his sisters were doing. He told me that half the clubs they were doing they didn't like, I knew that when rule change came, I was going to give them the opportunity to drop those clubs.

When dinner was cooked I called everyone to the dining room. The girls came skipping into the room together, Luke was laughing at them.

"It smells good Esme." Jerry said when he came into the room.

"Well I can't take all of the credit, Luke helped me."

"Good job son."

"Thanks Dad, Esme thanks again for letting me help."

"Luke I told you it was no problem."

Dinner was a nice bit of family time. The children told their father what they had been up to at school, and what they were enjoying so far with me being here. Jerry told his kids about his day at work.

The only down side to it was that I had to eat some of the food, and it wasn't very pleasant when I had to bring it up later on. I only had a little amount of the food, everyone noticed.

"Are you okay Esme."

"I'm fine Jerry, I'm just on a diet at the moment."

"Oh..."

After dinner the children did their chores, they had a Rota of who would clear the table, wash-up and dry & put away dishes. After they had finished they went off to do their homework, or in Luke's case to do a bit of reading.

Lola bedtime was 8.30, at 8.25 I went upstairs to tell Lola to put her night stuff on and brush her teeth. As she got into bed she asked me if I would read her a story, it was a nice thing that I enjoyed. Lola was fast asleep at 8.45.

Luke and Leila were allowed to stay up until 9.30pm. At 9.15 both children came downstairs to wish me goodnight.

Jerry went to bed at 11pm, which is when I was supposed to go to sleep. Instead I waited for the text or call from my family.

It was at 1am that Alice had phoned me up. She told me that Jacob and Edward had just had a fight over teddies, I laughed along with her, but all too soon she said that she needed to talk to the others, but she told me of how Sarah was going to 'wake' them up, and how they were going to be.

I really miss them.


	9. Going to Bed and Waking Up

**So this is thee other chapter I was meant to upload on Saturday, enjoy :P**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own them**

_Jasper's POV_

Last night we decided as a whole of when we would 'go to bed'. The only two who actual sleep would go to bed the earliest. For the rest of us we decided on what problem would occur tonight.

Jacob had gone upstairs first, and went straight up into the attic. Up there we have some old teddies of Nessie's. He took two that he thought would suit him and Edward.

When Nessie went to sleep we made sure that we gave her enough time to fall asleep before the incident occurred. Alice texted Carlisle to tell him what was going to happen.

At midnight we all decided that was when we would go to bed. Sarah was giving us 10 minutes before she would check on us. We had decided that Rose and Alice would be fast asleep, as would me and Emmett. Bella asked us if she could pretend to be just falling to sleep, to make sure that Nessie was asleep, and we had all agreed.

_Edward she's heading up to your room right now, me and the others are following her silently, take each others teddies and start arguing._

All of us had a hard time of controlling our laughter as Edward and Jacob were fighting over teddies. We let the girls go in first; hearing them threaten those two was funny.

We knew when our cue was to enter, we had to have a fed up look on our faces. After we had 'dealt' with the crisis, we told the girls we would escort them back to their rooms.

We heard Carlisle come up the stairs a little while later, when he came into mine and Emmett's room we both said "Night Dad" at the same time.

As soon as Sarah was fast asleep, Alice came to get us. We left Jacob and Nessie alone as they needed to sleep.

"What time are we 'waking' up this morning then?" I asked.

"We're not. She is going to come and wake us up. Bella, you are going to be sleep talking about being lost in the woods that will really creep Sarah out. Emmett you're only going to be wearing your underwear when she pulls the cover off you. Jazz, you're not even going to be in the room, she'll find you sleep walking around in the bathroom." Alice said.

"Edward, you're going to be the hardest to wake up, aside from Jacob and Nessie, she'll end up tipping water over you, and that's going to send you into a panic attack, that only Nessie will be able to sort out." Rose said.

"What about you too?" I asked cautiously.

"Rose's going to be having a night mare, and when she finally wakes up, you will come in and tell her it wasn't real, and for me, I will be found on the floor." Alice added with a laugh.

"So Edward and I will have to wake up our companions, before Sarah gets up then, to tell them the plan." Bella asked.

"Okay everyone; get into your stations, only three hours to go."

_Sarah's POV_

My alarm clock went off at 6.30 am. I groaned as I got out of bed, I didn't normally get up till 7.15 am. I headed into the bathroom and screamed as I saw Jasper walking around in circles. Oh my, he was sleep walking. My scream somehow woke him up, he looked confused.

"I'm so sorry." He mumbled. "Is it time to get up?"

"Um... yeah."

He walked out the door and headed into his room, he appeared 10 minutes later dressed for school.

Shoot it was 7 am.

"Leave them till last; it's easier to wake those two up, if we all do it."

He was talking about Jacob and Edward. I went up the stairs to wake the girls up. I first went into Renesmee's and Isabella's room. As I entered it sounded like someone was sleep talking.

"No... Don't... leave me alone... run, I need to run... help me...please leave me alone... catching me... someone help" Isabella was mumbling

Still standing at the door, I decided to shout and knock instead of going over to her, what she was saying was really creeping me out.

"Nessie... Bella... come on time to wake up." I shouted.

Nessie jumped straight out of bed, and went across the room to wake Isabella up.

"Bella, can you hear me, come on time to wake up... hey there we are, come on let's get dressed... Sarah can you please give us some privacy?"

I closed the door in response.

I heard a piercing scream come from Alice and Rosalie's room, and quickly hurried down to see what was going on. Rosalie was having a nightmare, I couldn't wake her up, and so I went to wake Alice up first. I found her on the floor.

"Alice? Time to wake up."

After a few seconds she stirred, when she saw she was on the floor she got up quickly. Then she heard Rosalie screaming and rushed over to wake her up. Rosalie finally woke up, but she still believed that she was dreaming.

Jasper, who was heading to his room, saw his sister in this state and rushed over to her.

"Alice, what happened? Is she alright?" Rose? Rosie come on it's me, Jazz. Listen come on its not real ok, it was just a dream, they can't hurt you know more, your safe, Rose? Rose can you hear me?"

"Jasper? Where am I?"

"You're at home princess, everything is alright now okay? I'm gonna go and get dad."

"No, please stay with me"

"Always... Sarah?"

He gave me that look as if to say 'do-you-mind'.

"Sarah, Edward still hasn't woken up; we've tried shouting at him, taking the cover off..."

"Bella just give me a minute, I'm going to get Emmett up."

Emmett was the easiest to get up, the only bad thing was when I pulled his cover from him and I found out that he was only in his underwear.

Within 5 minutes, everyone except Edward and Jacob was up. Nessie at the moment was getting dressed. I knew the only way to wake up a child, who wouldn't wake up, was too trip water over them. I filled up a jug with water.

Jacob had shot immediately out of bed when I entered the room; he saw the jug in my hand and laughed. He left the room saying "If I were you, I wouldn't do that."

I was puzzled by what Jacob meant, but carried on with what I was doing, and tipped the water over Edward.

He jumped up out of bed and fell on the floor, suddenly he started screaming. Everyone came running in; they saw Edward on the floor screaming and me with a jug in my hand.

"You bitch, did you just tip water over him... you stupid cow." Emmett yelled.

"Guys I think he's having a panic attack." Isabella said.

"Are you that stupid, you were told not to do that." Rosalie snarled.

"DAD!" they all screamed.

Carlisle came straight into the room. He saw Edward currently in the middle of a panic attack and me with the jug still in my hand.

"Sarah, Edward can't stand water being tipped on him, only Esme has been able to get him out of this state, when his brothers have done this to him before."

"Eddie..." A small voice said from behind us.

I turned around to see a panicked look on Renesmee's face. Everyone was suddenly holding her back, like she was going to take a swing at me.

"Eddie... it's alright, Edward come on, please?" She was crying.

"Nessie?" Edward asked.

"Edward, its ok, your safe."

Edward gave her a little laugh "Never thought I'd see the day when you were taking care of me lil sis."

"Stop trying to be big and brave, you know I will always try to take care of you."

She ran over to him and put her arms around him, and he hugged her back. As the others bent down to hug Edward and reassure him, Carlisle dragged me out of the room.


	10. Consequence of waking up the Cullen Kids

**Sorry this chapter is just explaining the last chapter from two other perspectives, I hope you enjoy it**

**Disclaimer: We should all know it by now, but of course I still don't own them**

_Carlisle POV_

I had just come back from a quick hunt when I heard the kids scream "DAD!"

I started panicking, what had they done, have they done something stupid, what were they up to?

As I rushed up the stairs, Alice filled me in on what was happening. Great my kids are coming across as mentally unstable. I ran, at human speed, into Edward's room. I saw that Edward was on the floor, in what looked like a panic attack, he was drenched.

I looked around to see that everyone had their worried expressions on, and that some of them were looking at the jug in Sarah's hands. I looked at the jug, the Sarah, then at Edward.

To play along with the kids I said

"Sarah, Edward can't stand water being tipped on him, only Esme has been able to get him out of this state, when his brothers have done this to him before."

"Eddie..."

Everyone turned around to see a panicked look on Nessie's face. Everyone was suddenly holding her back, like she was going to take a swing at Sarah, which we knew she wouldn't.

"Eddie... it's alright, Edward come on, please?" Nessie was suddenly crying.

"Nessie?" Edward asked.

"Edward, its ok, your safe."

Edward gave her a little laugh "Never thought I'd see the day when you were taking care of me lil sis."

"Stop trying to be big and brave, you know I will always try to take care of you."

She then ran over to Edward and put her arms around him, and he hugged her back. As the others bent down to hug Edward and reassure him, Carlisle dragged Sarah out of the room.

"I'm sorry that you had to find out that, like that. Esme shakes them, if they don't respond she gives them 5 minutes before trying again."

"I didn't mean to do that... I'm sorry Carlisle."

This is going to come across so great on live national TV, the women who managed to send a teenager into a panic attack on their first morning of her waking him up. She was going to be a laughing stock.

_Edwards POV_

Listening to everyone being 'woken up' by Sarah was funny, she was scared out of her mind, maybe she won't just think that we are spoilt brats.

By the time she got to my room she was pretty much fed up. As soon as she dumped the water on me, I knew how I had to respond. As Carlisle rushed up the stairs, I heard Alice fill him in.

Nessie had been told on what was happening, she just had to make sure she was no-where near the room when it occurred. Everyone flew into the room once they heard me hit the floor.

When Nessie came in she was playing the concerned little sister act. Everyone heard her approach when she said "Eddie?"

_Don't worry Daddy, I'm not actually going to hit her, I'm just going to make it seem like I am._

This was followed by everyone 'restraining' her.

"Eddie... it's alright, Edward come on, please?" She was crying.

_Wow _I thought to my-self, she is really good at acting.

"Nessie?" I asked in a small voice.

"Edward, its ok, your safe."

I gave her a little laugh "Never thought I'd see the day when you were taking care of me lil sis."

"Stop trying to be big and brave, you know I will always try to take care of you."

She ran over to me and put her arms around me, I hugged her back. As the others bent down to hug and reassure me, Carlisle dragged Sarah out of the room.

"Does she believe that we're mentally unstable?" Alice asked

"Yeah she does, she's personally worried about coming across as a horrible person on live national TV."

"Listen... for the next few days, things are going to be quiet, well us girls are going to go out and spend way to much money on clothes, and you boys are going to be fighting outside for a while." Bella said

"Great plan..." everyone agreed

Carlisle walked into the room "Is everyone alright with going to school today."

"Don't worry about us Carlisle, we're tough as old boots, and we're always gonna look out for each other no matter what." Emmett told him

_Maybe I should send them to see a counselor next week _Sarah was thinking.

"Dad, you don't have to take us too our counseling sessions tonight, we're gonna go out after it so just have a bit of piece and quiet time." Alice said quickly

_They already have a counselor? Maybe I should tag along with them..._

"Dad can we go now?" Alice pleaded.

"As soon as Edward's dressed."

Everyone looked down at me and saw that I was still in my wet pajamas. I went straight to the bathroom and quickly got dressed. Then we all headed off to school, not that we went to school anyway.


	11. Esme's Day

**I know I've uploaded 4 other chapters but I've just had them on my laptop and I've taken this great opportunity to add them to my story, I really need some ideas of things that Esme's family would be doing, as well as some idea's of things that the Cullens could be doing to shock Sarah.**

**Disclaimer: Doesn't matter how much I wish or how much I beg, I will never own any of the Twilight Characters**

_Esme POV_

This morning I had to 'wake up' at 7.15am, I woke up at 7am and took a quick shower. I dressed in the clothes that Alice had organized for me. At 7.15 I headed down the stairs, and started to prepare breakfast for everyone.

Luckily enough for me, Alice had packed some milk shake, that I could claim I had for breakfast, instead of having to eat with the family. At least it was easier to consume.

The children were all down stairs by 7.40; their uniforms would have been approved by their mother. The girl's skirts and dresses were below the knees; t-shirts were long and tucked it, Luke trousers were long as well.

They all thanked me for making their breakfast, but only after telling me that one of them were supposed to make it. When Jerry came down the stairs I told him that I had 'supervised the children' whilst they made breakfast. No-one even commented on what I was having.

"Esme, I'm taking the children to school now, you just have to go and get groceries and got to the library for an hour, just remember to pick the children up."

"I remember Jerry." I told him.

To say that I was having fun would have been a lie. I have never had such a boring day in my entire life.

I had people constantly staring at me whilst I was out getting in groceries from the list I had been given. I heard every whispered conversation that everyone was having about me.

The trip to the library would have been fun, if I was in children's section. But instead I was gathering books and putting them back onto the selves, in the correct places.

As I picked the children up from school, I asked them all how their school day was. They didn't answer me for a few minutes. When I asked them what was wrong, they told me that their mother never asked them about their days.

I told them that I wanted to hear about them. Lola was telling me what her and her friends had been doing. She told me she had been painting for most of the morning, and that she had been playing on some musical instruments.

"Miss Quebec said I have a very nice singing voice, she asked me if I had been going to a vocal coach, but I told her I hadn't, she said if I wanted to I could join up with the choir, but that would mean I would have to drop my tennis and basketball clubs."

"Lola, you've always had a lovely singing voice, Leila and I used to listen to you for hours when you would sing, Leila even cried, that's how beautiful your voice is."

Hearing her brother talk about her in this way made Lola cry, Luke thought he had upset her, and began to apologize.

"Luke stop apologizing. That's the nicest thing I have ever heard you say to me."

Luke began laughing over his stupidity. Leila then told me about her day, she said that she got 10/10 on her spelling test that they did in English, and that during P.E she had took a shine to Netball.

Luke told me that the only lessons he had enjoyed where his cooking class, and when he was playing football during P.E. I had noticed that the things that the children lived to do, weren't part of the clubs they were currently doing.

The rest of the night was peaceful. I cooked them dinner, by my-self this time, whilst the children completed their homework. Jerry came home at 6.30, just as I was serving it up.

The children went to finished off their homework after dinner, before they went to bed, they also all said good night to me. I couldn't wait until the rule changes came.

_Sarah POV_

The children had gone to school two hours ago, and I was cleaning up the already spotless house. The phone started to ring; I went over to it and answered it.

"Hello." I answered

"Hi... is this Mrs. Cullen?"

"No sorry, she's doing wife swap at this moment in time, I'm the wife for this family for now."

"Oh ok... I was just wondering why these students hadn't showed up for school today... Emmett Cullen, Edward Cullen, Isabella Cullen, Alice Cullen, Renesmee Cullen, Jasper Hale and Rosalie Hale."

I was sure that I had seen them head off to school, oh no, wait I did manage to send one of the off into a panic attack, maybe they are all with Edward and he couldn't face school...

"I'm sorry, I forgot, the children aren't going to be in today, there was a slight incident this morning, but they will be in tomorrow."

"Thank you." And with that the phone cut dead.

At 3.45 I heard two cars pull up into the garage, this is when they would arrive home from school. As they entered the house I asked them

"Where have you been? I don't say at school, because I got a phone call from them saying you weren't there."

"Emmett you did phone school up and tell them we weren't coming in, didn't you?"

"No, it wasn't my turn, it was your Bella."

"No it wasn't I did it last time."

"Emmett..." I heard all of them grumble

"We might as well bring the bags in guys, we don't have to hide them." Alice said.

The boys went back out into the garage and brought in, what looked like, at least 300 bags between them. They carried all of the bags upstairs for the girls, between them only 50 of the bags belonged to the boys, the girls proceeded to pack away all of the clothes they had.

"Sarah, we were going to go back out again, and we would love it if you cam with us." Renesmee smiled sweetly at me.

I just nodded in agreement.


	12. Going Shopping

**Sorry it's been a while I have had a problem with my laptop with uploading documents, and I have limited access to the internet, hope you enjoy this.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Twilight characters, just the ideas within the story**

_Sarah POV_

I followed the kids out into the garage. They had decided between them that they were going to take Edward's Volvo and Rosalie's M3.

"Rose and I are driving; they are our cars after all." Edward was saying.

"So the usual people in the usual car. That means I'm with Alice, Jazz and Emmett." Rosalie said.

I stood there wondering whose car I would be going in.

"Draw straws to see who gets to take Sarah with them." Alice mumbled.

And that's exactly what they did. Rosalie managed to draw the short straw, so she was taking me in her car. Rosalie didn't look very happy about it, but Jasper and Emmett talked her around.

"Let's go, let's go." Alice literally bounced up and down in her seat.

"I call shotgun." Jasper called.

"No fair Jasper, I won't to sit in the front, I'm not sitting next to Pixie in that state." Emmett said.

"Actually you can both sit in the back, I'm the grownup so I will sit in the front." I said.

"Sarah... no offence, but I think you will be more comfortable not sitting in the front. I swear down you will wont to kill one of us if you sit in the front." Alice chirped.

Reluctantly I sat in the back. I was sat in between Alice and Emmett, and I was not at all comfortable.

It didn't help that once we got moving, we were flying down the road at 80 mph. When we got to the main road we were going at 120 mph. I had to grip hold of my seat, that's how afraid I was.

"We're here." Emmett said

"Some-one help her out of my car, she looks lie she's not breathing, someone check up on her."

Emmett offered his arm to me, and when I didn't first respond, he lifted me out of the car. For such a young person, he is freakishly strong.

I heard someone laugh, but I didn't know who it was because by the I looked around the group they all had straight faces.

Alice bounced her way over to me, and just for a couple of seconds, I was scared.

"Come on... hurry up, these sales do end quickly you know."

Everyone laughed at her, Alice just smiled and stuck her tongue out. If that had been one of my children, they would have been crying and telling tales.

"These sales always finish quickly once you've been shopping Alice." Isabella said.

"Let's go, let's go."

"Should we split into two groups?" Emmett asked

"Yeah." Everyone else answered

It seemed like, to me at least, that they had already planned the two groups that they were going into. The girls were in one group, and the boys in the other. When I asked they said that I would be going with the girls, we would be 'joining'up with the boys in two hours. How anyone can shop for 2 hours straight, seems impossible to me.

The girls however did shop for the entire two hours. The mall had over 100 shops, the girls went into 75 of them. They spent thousands, and thousands of pounds on clothing. They were spending money like it grew on trees. They didn't even take a second to see how much an item of clothing cost.

The dearest priced clothing that each of the girl bought were:

Isabella- Mid-thigh Midnight Blue Strapless dress, which cost $250

Renesmee- Long Silver and Black dress, which was also $250

Rosalie- 8 inch Black shoes with Diamond studs which were $465

Alice bought a small purse bag, which was the dearest of all, it was an a electric blue color, and cost her $585, and all she said was that she had been wanting it for ages.

When we finally met up with the boys, I saw that they hadn't bought a single thing. The grabbed the girls bags and walked to the nearest Cafe, where they asked me if I wanted anything to eat or drink. I told them no, I didn't want anything from children who don't even think about what they are wasting money on without a single thought.

We finally got back to the house at 8pm, the children took their bags upstairs and unloaded everything. Yet again, only Jacob and Renesmee came down to get something to eat. When rule change came, I was going to make sure that the family sat down together for their meals.


	13. Start of Games Night

**I almost forgot what day I was up to with Sarah's side, but the games idea was given to me a while back and I thought it would go well on the second day. I have started another bit to finish of the game, will upload as soon as I can.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that is related to Twilight or Wife Swap**

I was sure these kids were on a mission to drive me insane. After our terrible first morning wake up, I was really scared to wake the children up the next day. However, when I got up this morning and prepared myself to wake those brats up, I heard... well I couldn't tell who... wake up one of the others, then they went to wake up someone from another room, and it carried on until they were all up.

Within 5 minutes they were washed, dressed and ready for school. I hadn't even finished getting ready.

"Edward, where have you hidden the cereal?" Emmett shouted

"Emmett it's in the cupboard like it always is, where's the bread and jam?"

"Where's the crisps at?" Renesmee was asking

"Who's taken the biscuits?" Jacob said

"There right in front of you." Everyone yelled at him

_What are they doing? _I thought to my-self

"Children, will you please calm down. Have you sorted out you packed lunches, please nod if you have," Carlisle said

They all nodded in response.

"Have you got everything that you need for today?"

"Dad we sort our bags out the night before, and we've packed you some lunch as well." Emmett told him.

"Thank you, now as I've already told you all, I will be working late tonight so please behave for Sarah. Yes you can have a game night tonight, but if they get out of hand, you will never have a game night again, do you understand?"

"Yes Dad."

"See you later then, have a good day Sarah." Carlisle said before leaving.

"Sarah? We finish school at 2 today so if we're early that's why, we'll see you later." Alice chirped before following the others, who had already left them room.

It was only 7.45am.

I spent my day cleaning the already spotless house, checking if any groceries needed to be bought, which there wasn't.

The day past very quickly and before I knew it, the children were home at 2.15.

"Game time, game time. Let's sort out the first game were going to play." Alice was saying

"Alice we all know what the first game we're going to play is." Jasper said.

Whilst they went up stairs to change, apparently, I went into the kitchen to make my-self something to eat. On the counter I saw a magazine and I decided to read it, just for a little while.

I lost my-self into the magazine, it was about flower arranging, but I heard a noise coming from the living room, I realized that I had been in the kitchen for 20 minutes.

As I walked into the living room, I was greeted with a sight, that wasn't at all pleasant. Those brats were playing strip poker. It shocked me, not only were they gambling, but they were stripping in front of there siblings.

I didn't care if some of them weren't blood related; this isn't the type of game you should be playing with your brothers and sisters.

"Jacob, you lost you lose your pants."

"Actually I still have a sock that I can take off fisrt"

"WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN HERE?" I yelled

"Oh hey Sarah," Emmett said "We're just having a game of strip poker, want to join us?"

"NO, GET DRESSED ALL OF YOU IMMEDIATELY."

Before they did as I asked they all laughed, before complaining. But they all got dressed and were trying to come up with a new idea of a game they could play.

"How about capture the flag?" Renesmee suggested.

At this suggesting I nodded, it was a game that I approved of. _Its a simple game, and it should be a lot of fun _I though to my self

But this game turned out to be anything but simple. Once I got outside to see how they were getting on, I saw 24 flags on the floor, 3 sets of what looked like obstacle courses and 10 sets of ladders, which were in the process of being placed around the house.

"Jasper, Emmett, you guys are the team captains, seeing as Edward and I were last time, choose your teams wisely!" Alice said

"Dibs on Rose." Jasper said immediately

"Dibs on Alice." Emmett then said.

"Edward, you're with me."

"Bells is with me."

"You can have Jacob Emmett; I want Nessie on my team."

"What's Sarah going to do then" Renesmee asked.

"Supervising." The others responded

The girls went off to place the flags, whilst the boys set up the courses. I didn't understand how this could be classed as a game of capture the flag.

When everything, according to the kids, was set in place they gathered by the back door of the house and started to discuss the rules.

"Sarah, you're going to have to know all of these." Jacob told me.

Rosalie handed me a notebook, whilst Jasper gave me a pen. Fantastic, they were being deadly serious.

It took 20 minutes and 3 repeats for me to write down all of the rules they had made up for their own version of Capture the Flag.

Since the girls had place the flags, it was the boys challenge to retrieve as many of them as they could. They spent 10 minutes looking around the woods for the flags, they only found two each, and so each team had four. They were all grumbling.

"Did you really think that we would hide them all in the woods?" Bella asked.

"Some are in or by the river." Rosalie told them.

"Some are part of the obstacle course." Alice pointed out.

"And... the rest of them are in or on the house." Renesmee commented.

"Don't forget, Carlisle has hidden the two master flags, which we will all be searching for as soon as you guys have found all of the flags." Bella added.

After all of this was said, the boys took off towards the river. They took there shoes, pants and shirts off, it seemed as though they were prepared for this game, as they all had swimming trunks on.

The girls were stood to the side laughing at they boys, what they found so funny about this I will never know.

It took them 7 minutes to find 3 flags that were in the actual river. Jasper and Emmett were searching in the river, whilst Edward and Jacobs were searching along it.

Jacob managed to find another flag that was on the opposite side of the river. That meant that meant Emmett's team were up by two.

"Good spotting Jacob, damn it how did I not see that." Edward mumbled

"Right where to next?" Emmett asked excitedly

"Lets do the house next; the obstacle course may just get a little mucky."

They boys swam back across the lake; the girls gave them a hand getting out before handing them a towel to dry themselves. The boys then put there clothes back on before heading up to the house. I just followed them.


	14. Capture the Flag

**This is carrying on the story from before, but it will make it seem sense, if it's carried on in a different POV. I split it because otherwise it would have been a very long chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing related to Twilight or Wife Swap will ever be owned by me.**

_Rosalie's POV_

Sarah had never seen nor played what was our version of Capture the Flag. Of course we had decided on games we would play earlier during the day, when we were supposed to be working in school.

We, of course, all knew that we needed to dress accordingly. For us it meant that we had to have swimwear on, and sturdy clothing, as we run around a lot as well as doing a few challenges.

The look of Sarah's face, when the boys evidently stripped down to their swimwear, was priceless.

"Look at her face." I mumbled, it was quite enough that all the vampires, the werewolf and the vampire-hybrid would hear, but the human wouldn't.

After we had finished by the river we had decided, as a whole, that the boys would search in and on the house first before tackling the obstacle courses, because they can get very messy.

"Right who's going to do what?" Bella asked the boys.

"For our team, Jasper you can search the outside, I'll look inside if that's ok."

"You know me well bro." Jasper replied.

"Jacob what do you want, in or out?" Emmett asked the wolf.

"You can search the outside; I'd prefer to look in." Jacob said.

"Right it's been sorted, on your marks... get set...GO!" I said.

Both of the teams worked well, but our team was slightly better at this stage than the other. From this section there were 6 flags that needed to be found. 3 were inside the house, and 3 were outside.

Nessie and I laughed for the most part. As we had a role to play, we looked like we were laughing and cheering on our 'twin' brothers whilst they looked like complete idiots searching the house.

"Go Jasper... Go Edward!" Nessie and I cheered over and over.

Bella and Alice were cheering "Ja-cob... Emm-ett" over and over.

The boys so far had found 12 of the flags, Emmett's team had 7 and our team only had five. So in this staged we were hoping we could find some extra flags.

Luck was defiantly on our side, Jasper managed to find 2 of the 3 flags that were inside, he received a 'friendly' punch from Emmett. Edward found 2 of the 3 flags outside, so by the end of this each of our teams had 9 flags each.

The boys had _a lot _of fun playing around on the obstacle courses. They got mud all over themselves, there clothes and some even on the house, that would have to be cleaned up later.

Bella had told us girls, that the flags were only on two of the course. There was 4 on the first course, and the last two were on the third one. By the end of this, both our teams had 12 flags each, but this was part of our plan anyway.

Us girls had to quickly hose down the boys, they went off inside to put on a new change of clothes, only because they were maintaining the image that we were human. After they were ready we chose our HQ's and quickly set up for the final part of the game.

"What are you doing?" Sarah asked.

"We're going to find our master flags, what else?" Emmett retorted, "What did you think we were doing?"

Sarah didn't respond to that.

We all went up to Carlisle's to get the instructions that we needed. Sarah read them out to us, after she had all she said was "No, your not doing this."

Of course we all ignored her and followed through with our plans. We had to climb a ladder out of Edward's room, most of us would have jumped, but we had to act human in front of Sarah and the cameras.

Once the whole team was safely on the ground we had to go though the obstacle courses, all there of them. After that we had to swim the lake and after that we were free to search for our flag.

After a whole hour of searching none of us found our flags. Jasper and Emmett started to argue over it and soon enough all of the boys were fighting, this carried on until Bella said "Maybe we looked at this the wrong way."

And that was when it hit us all.

_Cliffhanger... what do you think it is? I hope this is ok. I am currently working on another chapter so you will find out what it actual is in the next one Hope you enjoyed this._


	15. Esme's Second Day

**In my next chapter I will be revealing what everyone realizes what went wrong in their game.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing related to Twilight or Wife Swap will ever be owned by me, ever!**

_Esme's POV_

It was only day 2 of the swap, and I was annoyed and angry and Jerry, and I felt so sorry for the children.

Jerry, at breakfast, kept reminding me that I had to follow his rules for the first week, so his children were meant to cook breakfast and do the cleaning up. Jerry kept talking to me like I was a child; it was so hard controlling my temper.

"Esme, we'll see you after school." Lola called out to me.

"See you later Esme." Luke and Leila said at the same time.

I waved the children of and decided to 'read' the manual again per Jerry's instructions.

"_Esme did you read the manual that was set out for you?" Jerry asked me._

"_Briefly" I replied._

"_Well it states that the children do the chores and breakfast, you just have to make lunch and dinner, the children do the rest."_

"_I know that Jerry, it's just I'm so used to doing the cooking and cleaning at mine, its second nature to me, and I enjoy doing it."_

"_That may be so Esme, but you have to follow our rules for this week."_

And with that the conversation ended.

Jerry had told me before he went to work that he would be working late, this was good for me because, even though I'm not supposed to, I am going to let the children have a little bit of fun.

I had a long and very boring morning, I cleaned up the house and made sure all of the children's chores were done because I wanted them to have a break, and I was bored out of my mind.

Nessie called me during the afternoon, under the pretense that there was a family emergency.

"Hey Nana, what ever you do, just say what Alice tells you to say." Nessie said

"Ok."

"We're going to play some games tonight, I think the others said we were going to start with strip poker, then play Capture the Flag."

"Esme just say, 'why's that?'" Alice said

"Oh, why's that?"

This went on for a while, apparently Sarah, the other wife, was thinking horrible thoughts about them and wanted to send them to a counselor, so Alice told me she would be surprised at them playing strip poker.

"Esme don't worry if the boys or us make a mess whilst we play capture the flag, we promise we will clean up, actually I think Sarah will have too." Nessie said.

"Ok that's fine; I'll talk to you soon." I replied before hanging up the phone.

The director asked if everything was ok, I lied and said that my sister had a serious accident and that she was doing well in hospital, and that I was her emergency contact but everything has been sorted out.

I went off to pick the children up from school, as they got into the car I told them that their chores had been done and that there was a surprise for them, they were all very excited.

The joy on the kids faces when I put on a CD that Alice had packed for me, gave me pure happiness. I told them that we were going to play a game of Charades, and that as long as they did there homework later, everything would be ok.

After a whole hour of playing charades the children went upstairs to make a start on their home work whilst I made Dinner.

"Esme, thank you, for such a lovely evening." Luke said

"Do you play games like this with your family?" Leila asked

"Well sort of, I tend to supervise there games to make sure that they don't get out of hand, but yeah we do have family fun games."

"Night Esme." The children said.

"Night."

All in all it was the perfect ending to thee second day of the week, and I knew what had to be done to make sure these children were happy like this in the second week.

_I hope this was Okay, it's quite hard thinking of things from Esme's POV because in the first week I see it as a struggle for her to deal with a family like this, but when I get to the second week, my ideas will be more creative._


	16. What Happened During Capture the Flag

**Here it is, my waited chapter that will conclude how the Cullen's version of Capture the Flag ends, hope you enjoy it**

**Disclaimer: I never have, and never will own anything that is Twilight of Wife Swap related.**

_After a whole hour of searching none of us found our flags. Jasper and Emmett started to argue over it and soon enough all of the boys were fighting, this carried on until Bella said "Maybe we looked at this the wrong way."_

_And that was when it hit us all._

_Sarah's POV_

The children had been searching for an entire hour, they looked in the river, in and by the trees, and yet they found nothing. Eventually Emmett and Jasper were arguing over it, and then it escalated into a fight between all of the boys.

To me it seemed pretty pointless. I was disturbed by the fact that they would fight over something as stupid as this, but I made no comment. I had told them not to play out this game, but of course they ignored me.

The fighting continued on until Isabella said "Maybe we looked at this in the wrong way."

For some reason those words said out loud, had a big impact on all of them. The boys stopped fighting immediately, and everyone gathered around in a circle.

"How could we not see this?" Emmett said.

"Because we were too busy trying to find the flags that we weren't paying attention." Rosalie commented.

"So we've been running around for an hour for nothing, what a great way to waste your bloody time." Jacob practically snarled.

"Don't worry about it Jake, you know what our punishment is for something like this? I believe everyone here does." Isabella asked them all.

They had utterly and completely lost me, I thought they were talking about how they couldn't find the flags and now they talking about a punishment, _I will never understand these kids _I thought to my-self.

"Sarah?" A little voice asked from behind me.

I turned around to see that no-one was there. When I turned back to were the kids were, they had all disappeared. _What the..._

Suddenly Edward appeared in front of me, he had a wicked grin on his face that I didn't understand.

"Don't worry about the others Sarah, there just a little busy at the moment. Now I have a question that I need to ask you."

"What is it?" I asked cautiously.

"When you read out the rules, did you read them out correctly?"

"Of course I did, what else would I do?"

"Can I please have a look at the instruction sheet, if your not lying them you'll just give it to me."

"What you think I've messed this up for you lot, no you are not putting the blame on me."

"Just give me the sheet."

"No, I am not going to."

And with that I walked of back inside of the house. _What cheek he had to accuse me of messing up their stupid game, they didn't ask to see the sheet straight after so it's their fault._

As I entered into the living I noticed that all of the furniture was missing. _I must have missed it when they were playing that stupid game._

I decided to walk up the stairs to my room, but when I went to open the door I found that the door had been locked, _that's funny I swear that this door couldn't be locked._

I stood at my room door wondering what was going on when the lights in the house cut off. This was just what I needed, the children are outside, god-knows-where, and I didn't know where the fuse box was, great.

"SARAH!" I heard someone shout.

"SARAH HELP US!" Some one else shouted.

I ran down the stairs and exited the house to see that the children were sat round in a circle on the floor.

"Okay, what is going on?" I asked

No-one responded.

"Hello... what's going on?"

There was still no response, that's when I noticed that they were all tied up, and three of them were missing. I quickly untied them all.

"Where's Rose, Alice and Bella?" Renesmee asked.

"Ness we don't know, we have to go find them." Edward said

Now I was confused, what the hell was going on? The boys took of running into the woods, in my confused state I followed them, after all I was responsible for these kids.

"There's Rose." Jasper shouted.

I saw him run over to his sister, by the looks of it she had been tied up against the tree. Jasper put his arm around her and helped her off the ground.

"Rose, what happened? Did you see who the hell it was that attacked us?" Emmett asked her.

"No sorry, it wasn't one person, I'm sure of that they were in a group, were sorry that we went a different way from you, we were trying to follow the plan that we had, but someone side-tracked us." Rosalie replied.

"Wait... what do you mean you were attacked, and what is this about a plan?"

"Guys she didn't do it, I checked the instructions she read them out properly, and Sarah we were planning on scaring you, but instead someone has ultimately changed our plans for the time being, we need to find the others." Edward said.

They all took off running again, when Renesmee stopped suddenly. "Wait... guys there some over there." She pointed out.

What the hell was going on was totally freaking me out, how could they not know what the hell was happening, and how Renesmee knew there was someone 400 metres from us I was puzzled about.

"Guys don't worry it's just me." The voice sounded a lot like Isabella.

"Bella, what happened?" Edward asked a little over protectively.

"Well I have to say that I was partially kidnapped and dumped in the river, that's why my clothes are wet."

"Thank God for that, I thought you peed yourself."

"Great to see that _you_ find this funny Emmett."

"Sorry Bella."

"Where's Alice?" Jasper asked.

Yet again they all set off running deeper into the woods. This just kept getting weirder and weirder, I swear after this I was going to need to see a counselor.

"You sneaky son-of-a-..."

"Don't even finish that sentence." I yelled at who-ever was about to say that.

Edward called out "Tanya, Kate what are you guys doing here?"

More voices appeared "Have you already forgotten me Edward, just so that you remember it's Garrett, and I'm sure you remember Carmen and Eleazar."

_What was going on?_

"What are you guys doing here?" Jacob asked.

"They've come to stay and visit us for a while." Alice said whilst walking toward the rest of the group.

"We're awfully sorry, did we ruin your game by taking your flags and hiding them in a different place?" One of the guys asked

"Garrett, where have you put them?" Jasper asked.

"Who cares, we want to know what's going on her? Who's that stranger over there?"One of the blonde girls said.

"Come back up to the house, we'll explain to you guys, and you can set up your rooms, and you can join in with our night games, oh this will be so much funny." Alice said excitedly.

Oh great, more people in the house, and by the looks of it I will be responsible for this lot as well.

And with that they all headed up to the house, with me trailing along behind them.

_Great ending, you definitely weren't expecting the Denali's to be the ones to turn up and ruin their game. I did originally have a different way in which this was going to go, but I wanted to Denali's to come up some time, so I thought this would be much better, please review!_


	17. Sarah meets the Denali's

**So I finally got to introduce the Denali's to Sarah, as if this household was weird enough, now that the Denali's have joined up things will get more interesting, ideas are always helpful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Cullen's, the Denali's or Wife Swap, but I do own any ideas in this story, so that's a positive.**

_Alice's POV_

When Bella had said that 'Maybe we looked at this in the wrong way.' We all originally thought that Sarah had sabotaged our game, by not reading out the instructions properly.

So as usual, we had a rule that if any participating person messes up the instruction then that person will be punished in whatever way is deemed appropriate by all.

We all set off to plan out our stages of scaring Sarah, like we had planned. Edward was going to give Sarah the chance to prove her innocence, if she didn't then we would go along with our plan.

"Like she's going to own up to her mistakes, she's too snobby to do a thing like that." Rose was saying.

Rose, Bella and I were planning on walking a safe distance so that when Sarah came to find us we could properly scare her.

That's when the vision came. Someone was coming after us, and they were approaching quick, I saw that the others, I couldn't tell if Jacob or Renesmee were included, tied up along the ground.

I heard Rosalie and Bella scream for help just before I finally came out of my vision, that's when I realized I was all on my own. I was torn, should I find the girls, or head back up to the other...

"Alice... Alice" I heard someone whisper, it sounded awfully familiar.

That's when it hit me.

"Kate..."

"Come over here... quickly."

I followed the sound of her voice to see that she was hidden in a den. Within to minutes I saw the rest of the Denali's, they all had triumphant looks upon their faces.

They proceeded to tell me what they had done. They had been watching us for over 2 hours, in that time they had secretly planned their attack to surprise us. Because Bella had her shield up their thoughts were hidden from Edward, and because Jacob was playing I was unable to see their approach.

"The others will find you in about 5 minutes so you better have a good story about why you ruined our game." I told them.

"You lot are always so competitive about this game, we wanted to join in with you but we then decided we wanted to play a different game Haunted House." Garrett said.

When the rest of them finally found us, we had a fun time introducing our selves once again. The Denali's did it because they saw Sarah and they knew that she wouldn't know who they were, and they wanted to know why she was her.

Our way back to the house was interesting. Jacob and Nessie stayed back a bit to keep Sarah busy, whilst the rest of us told the Denali's what we were doing.

"So...basically were on Wife Swap, we are hiding our true relationships away from Sarah and the Camera's. We're going to introduce you lot as our cousins, and only Carmen and Eleazar will be able to have a relationship sorry, we'll just say that you adopted the other three, it's better than any other explanation." I concluded.

"Ok... so were are we going to sleep then?" Tanya asked

"Tanya you'll be sleeping in mine and Rose's room, Kate will be with Bella and Nessie, and Garret will be in with Jazz and Emmett. Carmen and Eleazar, you two will be down in the basement, sorry there's no other room."

"That will be fine with us." Eleazar said "May I ask what we will be doing?"

"The same as us basically. We've planned to play up a lot and annoy Sarah, and starting next week we'll pretend to be little angels, but we will be little shits instead behind her back." Bella said.

"So same old, same old then." Tanya asked

"Yeah, only the best." I replied.

As we entered the house and proceeded going off to our respectful rooms Sarah stopped us.

"Just where do you think your going?"

"Were setting our cousins in our rooms of course, Aunty and Uncle will be sleeping in the downstairs room of course, its all been settled." Emmett was saying sardonically.

"Let's bring up the camping beds and sleeping bags for our cousins." Edward said

"Great idea." Was my response

And of we went to do just that.

Sorting things out to make it look like our cousins would be in fact sleeping in our rooms was quick and simple, instead we were planning our next game, now that our cousins had joined in playing Haunted house would be so much fun.

"So Rose will set up the speakers, and connect it to the microphone, we'll use the cards to decide a persons fate."

"Can we have two ghosts this time, we've already done one and three and they weren't fun at all." Kate asked

"Of course, that means we will have 2 ghosts, one murderer and 11 victims, this will be so much fun." I replied.

And later that night, this is what we did.

_I will continued the end of this chapter in a different POV, I hope you enjoyed this, please review!_


	18. This Day Could Not End Soon Enough

**This is like my 4****th****/5****th**** chapter based on day to with Sarah and the Cullen****'****s. Who thought that a day could take so long to write, oh yeah, that's because it's the Cullen's and they make everything that is meant to be normal, not normal. Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Cullen's, the Denali's or Wife Swap, but I do own any ideas in this story, so that's a positive.**

_Nessie's POV_

We got to play our most favorite game 'Haunted House'. It had been fun to finally see the Denali's again; it had been about 10 years since we last spent anytime together.

Though it was fun to see them, it wasn't fun being tied up on the ground with my Dad, Uncles and My Jacob. We had all sorted out whose rooms our cousins were going to sleep in. Kate was going to be 'sharing' with my mum and me, only I would be the only one who was sleeping.

At times it was annoying being the only member of your family that sleeps. Since the others would plan our activities during the night, when we were all supposed to be asleep, I felt left out a lot. But the others always informed me and Jacob of what they had discussed before Sarah was up, so it was ok.

We were all gathered in Alice and Rose's room discussing the aspects of the next game we were intending to play.

"So Rose will set up the speakers, and connect it to the microphone, we'll use the cards to decide a persons fate." Dad was saying

"Can we have two ghosts this time, we've already done one and three and they weren't fun at all." Kate asked

"Of course, that means we will have 2 ghosts, one murderer and 11 victims, this will be so much fun." Alice replied.

"Do you think Sarah will join in with us, or will she freak out and demand that we stop playing immediately?" I asked remembering what she was like during our last game.

"She has to join in, it's what Esme would do, so because she has to act like Esme for this week she wont be able to say 'No'" Mum told me.

"Lets get set up then." Tanya said.

We all headed down stairs, to act like normal we were talking to the Denali's asking them what they had been up to, how long they were staying, if they were comfortable with the sleeping arrangements. Garrett said at one point

"How come I am always lumped with Jasper and Emmett, I mean no offence guys, but come one?"

We all had a bit of a laugh at that, whilst Jacob made up a story on the spot to make it seem like this is what always happens with us lot.

"Well Garrett, don't you remember the first and last time you slept in with me and Edward, oh no why would you? You managed to tip our bunk beds over causing me and Edward to hit our heads on the floor pretty hard and we had to be rushed straight to the hospital, that wasn't a nice surprise for our dad now, was it?"

"I did apologize." Garret mumbled.

"6 months after the incident." Dad added into the conversation.

We all laughed over it, Sarah looked over at us and had a look on her face as if she were thinking great-here-comes-the-insane-lot.

"So Sarah," Eleazar was saying "How are you enjoying your stay?"

"Well you know, its different than what I'm used to, may I ask whose related to who?"

Alice had known that Sarah would ask this question, she had told Eleazar to say that he was Esme's older brother, we had already informed Esme of this.

"Oh, well I'm Esme's brother, her older brother, and these three are my lovely children, they are all adopted."

"Of course" Sarah had mumbled under her breath.

"Daddy," Kate asked in a sugar sweet voice "May we join in with our cousin's next game?"

"What are going to play sweet heart?" Carmen asked her, she was playing along.

"Don't worry Mummy," Tanya then said in the same sugar sweet voice that Kate had used "we were just going to play Haunted House'."

I looked over at my Dad to see that he was having a hard time controlling his laughter. It must be from either Tanya or Kate's thoughts, or from the thoughts and facial expression coming from Sarah.

Garrett said "But we do you want you to join in with us, no game would be complete without you two playing alongside us."

"I never knew you were so compassionate." Jasper said to Garrett.

Garrett pretended to be hurt by Jaspers words "How can you say such a thing?" He then ran out of the room pretending to be crying.

"For the love of all that's holy" Sarah said exasperated.

"We'll get him." We all said, before running out of the room, presumably to find Garrett.

Once we were outside we all burst out laughing. It took us a while to finally calm down, but it was hard. Dad informed us all of what Sarah had been thinking through the entire episode.

"When Tanya and Kate called Carmen and Eleazar, 'Mummy' and 'Daddy', she was shocked, she couldn't believe that a teenager, who's been adopted, would call them Mummy and Daddy."

"Well we do have a certain image to follow, so does she think that we are exactly like you lot, mentally unstable?" Kate asked.

"Yeah she does, she thinks the whole family has some serious issues. She also thinks it's weird that a brother and sister would have to adopt children, so she thinks that Esme and Eleazar and Genetic dead ends, she's not far of the mark there." Dad was saying whilst trying not to laugh.

"What's our story for not being at school?" Garrett asked

"We finish school for half term tomorrow, so just say that your school finished a day early, and that every year we always spend time together as a family whether we are with you, or you are with us." Rose said.

It was a good idea.

Alice burst out laughing. We all turned to face her, suddenly my Dad was laughing and so was Uncle Jasper, Dad could read the thoughts that made Alice laugh and Jasper could taste her mood.

"Guys in... our game... Sarah...is...going... I can't... I can't say it." Alice said in between laughs.

"Sarah's going to be the murderer, so you know what that means..." Dad paused briefly "It means that we will never be found, so instead we can all go for a hunt whilst she tries to find us."

We all laughed before heading back inside of the house.

We headed back inside to deal with the grownups. Tanya and Kate had decided that they would walk in with their arms around Garrett, so that it would like they were supporting him.

"Garrett, I am very sorry, I didn't mean to be so inconsiderate." Jasper said.

So we were carrying on the charade.

"It's okay Jasper, I can't believe I overreacted like that, must be something from my past." Garrett said in a small voice.

We all saw Sarah roll her eyes. She had already encountered some strange things from the Cullen's.

"Can we play our game now?" Alice asked.

"Sure, as long as your all ok, and you set everything up yourselves." Eleazar said.

"We've already set everything up Uncle Eleazar, Garrett are you okay to play?" Emmett asked

Garrett nodded his head "Like I would pass up on a chance to play 'Haunted House'."

_Sarah's POV_

This family just kept getting weirder and weirder. Still no matter what was going on everyone wanted to play a game that they called Haunted House'. Just the name of it made me want to not join in but...

"Sarah?" Alice asked "Do you want to shuffle and hand out the cards?"

I couldn't refuse, so I shuffled the cards up. At the same time the children were talking about the rules. This game consisted of 2 ghosts, if they joined up correctly they would become 'human' but if the others discovered who they were, they would be instantly killed. Then there was a murderer, s/he could only kill a victim, if they accidently killed a ghost, they could tell the others and the game would be reset.

Why do these games have to be so complicated?

I handed a card out to everyone, the card I was left with said that I was to be the murderer. Emmett went of to switch all of the lights out; we were told that the murderer had to use the microphone when they had made a kill. Everyone was handed a torch, and with that everyone disappeared.

I decided to give everyone 2 minutes before I started to look; I mean it would be easy to find someone in this house, with there being so many people.

Turned out that it was harder than I thought. I went through each and every room, looking in every space that I could think of, under the bed, in the closet. Yet I found no-one. _They couldn't of just disappeared _I thought to my-self.

For two straight hours I searched and searched, then I started panicking, what if something had happened, or what if they were playing a trick on me?

Fortunately Carlisle came home at 10.30pm, as he came through the front door he called out "Hello children turn the lights on now please."

I headed down the stairs just as the lights turned on. All of the children were downstairs standing in front of Carlisle, _How in the..._

"Dad...Dad, look our cousins are here." Renesmee said

"Uncle Carlisle." The three youngest children called out.

"Carlisle, nice to see you again brother." Eleazar said

"Carmen, Eleazar it's so nice to see you guys again, I didn't know you were coming here. Tanya, Kate, Garrett nice to see three again." Carlisle said, he then turned and gave a look to his children that I didn't understand.

"They came as a surprise Dad," Edward told him "Don't worry we've set up the rooms... oh there you are Sarah, why haven't you been looking for us, we all met up and we realized you were the murderer."

I just stared at them, this was typical.

"Dad we would love to stay and chat but you know, last day of school before half term tomorrow, and we want to be refreshed so were going to bed early." Rosalie said

"Night Dad." The rest of the Cullen kids called out before heading up the stairs.

"Night Mum, night Dad." The three Denali kids called out before following the others.

"I'll go check on them," Carlisle said

I had, had enough for one night, I decided to call it early and head off to bed, I swear down I wasn't going to make it through this week if this kept happening, I lay my head on the pillow and dreamt of a better day to come tomorrow.

_This is one of my longer chapters, actual its the longest one that I've done. I started to type it up and then I couldn't stop._

_I hope you like this chapter, at the start of it I was laughing as I put my ideas into it, I was struggling towards the end of it, but I hope it makes sense and that you enjoyed it!_


	19. Only Day Three

**I hope you all enjoyed my last chapter; this is day three for both Sarah and Esme. On the Cullen's side I will be letting things die down a little bit, that way I don't run out of ideas to use in the second week.**

**Disclaimer: Cullen's, Denali's and Wife Swap= Not mine, will never be mine, and has never been mine *exhales deeply***

_Sarah's POV_

Day three. Why, why, why did it have to be just day three. Why couldn't it be day six, actually why was these days going so slow? For this, I had no answers.

I didn't want to wake up today, I just wanted to sleep off the pain that was in my head, I couldn't deal with this lot any more. Why did I have to spend two weeks of my life with this family? Why did I choose to come on this bloody show?

I literally dreaded getting up this morning, fortunately when I got up I realized that it was 11 O'clock, jeez I had over slept. When I looked over at my alarm clock I saw that my alarm had been turned off, I wondered how that happened. I rushed around my room dressing quickly before running down the stairs.

"Dad? Later on us and the others are going to go out shopping for a few hours, is that ok?" One of the Denali girls was asking.

"Of course you can, as long as you're back by 9 at the latest." Eleazar responded.

How could they shop so much, well I had already witnessed 2 shopping trips by the Cullen kids, I didn't expect the Denali's to be 'exactly' like them.

"Of course we will,"

I decided to enter the room at that point; a thought had just popped into my mind.

"Hello," I said

"Moring Sarah, how did you sleep?" Carmen asked me.

I was shocked, but I responded politely as I could.

"I... had a nice sleep; may I ask why your children aren't at school like the other?"

Garrett was the one who answered my question. "We go to a different school from our cousins, we didn't realize, or remember for a fact, that they would break up a day later than us, normally our schools break up on the same time."

I didn't know how to respond, I went off into the kitchen to start cleaning up, like I was meant too.

"Oh Sarah, we've already cleaned up, the children cleaned the downstairs of the house, we went out to get groceries, we didn't realize that was what you were to do, I hope you don't mind." Carmen said.

Well this day was going... good so far, I was pretty sure that I was dreaming at this point, no-one had offered to clean up or get the groceries so far, so this seemed too good to be true.

When the Cullen children arrived home that night, I was sure that they were going to play up somehow, but they didn't.

They came inside, I went up stairs without a word, and their cousins followed them up as well. They were upstairs for about 30 minutes before they finally came down.

"So we have to be back by 9 at the latest?" Alice was asking, "I say we meet back up at 8.15 so we have plenty of time to get back."

"I'd suggest that we go around together as a whole, it will be more fun that way guys." Emmett said

"Are you sure you boys want to come into an underwear store with us girls, I don't think that would be very comfortable for you." Tanya said jokingly.

"Like we haven't had to go in one of those stores before," Was Jasper's reply

And with that they all left for the night, whilst they were out of the house I had a nice chat with Eleazar and Carmen, but yet I still felt uncomfortable. I didn't quite understand why that was.

"Are the children usually like this?" I asked.

"Well, they can be a lot worse you know, but I don't think we really notice it anymore, I guess we're used to it." Carmen said

"I guess it doesn't really matter to us how they act, we love them and we respect them for who they are, once you get to know them, like we do, you'll love them too." Eleazar told me.

Yeah like that was going to happen.

By 8.53pm all of the children had returned home, they came inside, this time they didn't come in with as many bags as they had previously, they came inside of the living room and handed Carmen and Eleazar a gift.

"We hope you like it." They all said.

Renesmee came over to me and handed me a gift as well. It had been beautifully wrapped up.

"What's this?" I asked wearily.

"A gift, what else." Jacob said

I opened it up, inside it was a bracelet, well I guess it was a charm bracelet. It had heart shaped charms of in, at a closer look the hearts had been engraved with the names of my family, my husband and three children, I didn't remember telling this lot about my family, let alone mention their names.

The gesture was wonderful, I put the bracelet on immediately, it felt like I had a piece of my family with me, and it made me feel so much better than I had been.

"Thank you," I told them

"Your welcome," Alice replied to me "We all hoped you would like it."

The children stayed down stairs and chatted with Carmen and Eleazar for a while before heading upstairs.

Today had been so more relaxed than any of the others days, as I lay my head onto the pillow, I hoped that every other day would be exactly like this.

_Esme's POV_

The third day was much more bearable than the days before. Jerry seemed to be warming to me, just a little. He was nicer to me to day, but that was only because I wasn't following the rules that I should have been doing.

After last night, seeing the children have just a little bit of fun it made today more enjoyable.

My day went exactly like it had before. Though today I was to drop the children off at their respectable clubs, I was to go to three different places. Luke had a rugby club that he was at until 6pm.

Lola had to go to a tennis club for an hour and a half, which meant I would be picking her up first. Leila was going to a Ballet class which would then be followed by her gymnastics class, to me it seemed like she was doing to much on a school night, but like her brother she would finish by 6pm.

I spent most of my day at the local supermarket, by the groceries that Jerry had wrote on a list for me. Back home if I went out to by groceries, so that Jacob and Nessie would have something to eat, as well as a few members of Jacob's pack who visited us from time to time, normally Edward and Bella would assist me.

"Who's that?" I heard a guy whisper to someone.

"Don't know, never seen her before." The other guy responded.

I kept my head down and tried my hardest to ignore all of the stare and glances people were throwing at me. It was almost as hard to ignore ever whispered conversation I heard.

"I hear that she's participating for that show, what's it called? Wife Swap?" Some woman said

"Yeah that's true, she's staying with the Thompson family, she's filling in Sarah's place at the library." Her friend whispered back.

If I had been human, I would definitely been blushing for sure. Whilst I finished of my shopping I distracted my self by thinking of the things that were happening back at home.

According to Alice the Denali's had shown up out of the blue, since my dear children and grand-daughter where playing a game, Bella had her shield up blocking everyone's thoughts from Edward, and Alice couldn't see anything when Jacob was near.

Jasper said that our cousins had attacked them, he said that he, Emmett, Edward, Jacob and Nessie had been tied up on the ground, in which Sarah managed to untie, and that my three daughters had been, well basically, kidnapped and separated.

Since Sarah doesn't know who they are, my children told me that they were introducing Eleazar as my 'older' brother, that would mean Carmen would be my sister-in-law and the three others would be classed as my nephew and nieces.

Just thinking about this made the shopping trip speed up a little, I was still mulling over this as I made my way to the car, I drove back to the house to unpack the groceries before I headed to the library, where I would be spending the afternoon sorting out the books, again.

I realized that during the conversations I had with my family, I had never once encountered Carlisle's voice. My children must not want to cause either of us anymore pain necessary.

"Esme," I voice called out, breaking my thoughts "Can you take these books to the history section please, just sort out the I 1-10 and J 6-9, then you are done."

As I sorted out those God damn books I thought about what my children had last said to me,

"_So we're going to cool down just a little__,__ for a couple of days." Jasper told me._

"_All she wants, right now, is for the pain in her head to go away. Apparently the craziness of the Cullen's is driving her insane, she thinks she will be seeing a counselor after this has finished." Edward said._

"_You better be nice to her," I said "Are you sure the best way is to annoy her so much that she can't sense reality from non-reality?"_

"_Esme it's not that, she doesn't think highly of us. Not once has she asked any of us if we're okay, or how our day has been, we're just playing up like we are because she's not being the mother that she's meant to be." Rose said_

"_Guys," Alice mumbled "Cool it a bit will you, your upsetting Esme."_

"_I'm fine," I told them "Just don't push her too far."_

"_We won't." They all said_

Talking to my family every day helped me a lot. I missed them, as much as I disliked what they had done, I knew deep down that I still loved them and I really missed them. Maybe this experience is what we needed for the entire family.

I realized, with despair, that I had finished the task set before me, according to the big clock in the library, I had been occupied for just over 2 hours, it was longer than I thought.

Still it was only a few hours before I had to pick up the children from their clubs, so as I got back to the house I decided to prepare the dinner, that way when the children got back they wouldn't have to wait too long to have something to eat, if Jerry complained I was more than happy to have that argument with him.

I picked Lola up at 5 o'clock and whilst we travelled to where I would be picking up both Leila and Luke we talked about our days. I could hear the despair in Lola's voice as she talked about her tennis club, she didn't like it. She did, however, like to hear about my day and what it was like at the library, even though their mother worked their, it seemed that she never took the children their.

At 6pm both Lola and Luke rushed outside, as soon as they spotted the car the quickly hurried to get inside. Like Lola, the both had a look of despair on their faces; I could tell that they didn't really enjoy their clubs.

After the children had their dinner, they cleaned up. Tonight they didn't have any homework seeing as it was the half-term holidays.

As their bedtimes approached all of the children went upstairs to wash and dress for bed. They came downstairs to talk to me for a while, as soon as their bedtime approach they went upstairs.

Jerry came home, yet again, at 10 O'clock. He heated up leftovers from what was dinner, before heading off to bed.

"We have a schedule for the holidays as well, I'll explain it in the morning, we generally sleep in till nine, I'll guess I'll see you in the morning." Jerry said to me without even looking in my direction.

Just when I thought he was warming up to me. I dreaded to see what my schedule was, so as I headed upstairs, instead of dwelling on what tomorrow may bring, I waited until the moment that I would get to hear from my family again.

_I know that day three with the Cullen's is a little bit boring, but just so that everyone knows day four is going to be a bit boring as well, but don't worry because when day five comes, so will all of the drama._

_Now that everyone is off on holiday, let__'__s see how this is going to play out. Ideas would be fantastic, please review!_


	20. Songs and Weirdness

**I hope you all enjoyed my last chapter; this is now day four. Like I said in my last chapter this will be another day where it has died down a bit for the Cullen's, hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: So the Cullen's, Denali's and Wife Swap have never belonged to me and will never belong to me.**

_Sarah's POV_

It had been a very peaceful day yesterday. I concluded, to my-self, that the children weren't used to change, that's why they were playing up.

There was only three more days until Rule Change came, I couldn't be more excited for when that day finally came, to me it couldn't come fast enough.

One of the main things I had noticed with this family is that they never went out, unless the children were going to the mall together. I was, when Rule Change came, going to get them to go out, as a whole, to socialize with other people in the community.

"Not long now." I half-whispered to my-self.

As I was getting dressed, I heard the sound of a piano, playing. _What the..._ I was thinking at that moment. I hadn't noticed a piano in the house, and I didn't think that the children would listen to classical music.

From downstairs I could hear a beautiful voice singing in harmony with the piano composition. After a while a chorus of voices joined in. Curiously I headed down the stairs to see what was going on.

_#Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me! I was once lost, but now am found, was blind but now can see#_

At the piano I saw Renesmee and Edward working through the melody. I soon realized that it was Rosalie that was singing the solo part of the song. I hated to admit it, but, the sounded so beautiful, it almost brought me too tears.

"Okay, next song." Alice said.

"Kate and I want to sing 'Beautiful World', we haven't done it in a while and we would love to do it, please?" Tanya asked.

"That's fine; me and Ness wanted to work on that song anyway." Edward commented.

"Jasper and I would love to accompany you guys on guitar, if that's okay with everyone else." Emmett was asking.

"Cool, that means Rose, Bella and I will play along with you lot on flute. Garrett, what are you going to do?" Alice asked him.

"Can I direct? I've always wanted too," Garrett replied cheerily.

"Course you can," The others told him.

It was at that moment I wondered was Jacob was doing. They hadn't spoke of him, and I hadn't heard him speak.

"What are you lot up to?" I asked, entering the room.

"Just... you know... rehearsing." Jasper replied casually.

I looked around the room.

"Where's Jacob?" I asked

"He ran away," I heard someone mutter under their breath.

"No seriously, where is Jacob?" I asked again.

"He had to go back home. Some incident has happened, he wanted to be there. No I don't know what has happened, and no we are not going to bother him, if he needs us he'll phone." Edward told me.

Now I was suspicious.

"Guys... let's get on with what we were doing, please." Alice said.

At that moment in time all I could think was how could they not be worried for or about their brother. They were acting as if though he was an outsider of this family, and not a member of it.

Just like that they went off practicing the same song over and over. They practiced it until they all said it was perfect.

Once they had finished with their rehearsing they all went outside. From where I was it looked like they were playing a game, but I could of been wrong. I wasn't interested enough to go and see what they were doing.

I busied myself cleaning up the house, taking my time, over cleaning really. I kept a watchful eye on the kids, checking on them every so often.

At one point, I saw, that they were sat in a circle with their backs to one another, but they were joined by their hands. After a few moments they all turned around and held hands facing one another.

Seriously, what were they up to? Compared to the past few days, this behaviour was a little incomprehensible. I was severely puzzled to how any child could act in so many stupid ways.

_Edward's POV_

Jacob's gone. During the night he up and left. He jumped out of the window, phased and quickly went on his way. Maybe if I hadn't been so busy at that moment in time I would know what was going on. No-one was really bothered, but it affected me, Bella and Nessie the hardest.

We had planned to do something fun today but now, no-one felt like it.

"Let's just sing some songs as a whole group. It will surprise Sarah and will help distract us a little." Alice said

"What are we going to tell Ness?" Bella asked "What do I tell my daughter?"

I pulled Bella close for a hug. Not out of love but for comfort. No matter what I still hated anything that upset her.

"I don't know," I told Bella "but we will have to come up with something, Sarah will ask." I informed the others.

"Just say there was a family emergency and he wanted to go." Rose sighed.

It was the best idea we got.

We decided to head downstairs and set up for the task we had in mind. It was only an hour later that Nessie came downstairs.

"Where's Jacob?" She asked when she noticed he wasn't with us.

The girls went over to her and brought her over to the couch. They sat Nessie down before telling her what we knew and what we were going to tell Sarah.

"How could he just leave, and not say goodbye or anything." Ness cried.

"It must be very important, if he had to just go." Jasper mumbled.

"Sarah will be up in 10 minutes, so let's get on with what we planned." Alice finally said after a moment of silence.

And that's what we did.

After we had all gotten board of playing songs we decided to go outside, more for Nessie's benefit than ours, so when Nessie had asked if she could just have a moment of piece we all sat around in a circle to show her that we were there for her, and she really appreciated it.

"Sarah's wonder what were doing; actually she's wondering how we can do so many stupid things." I spoke underneath my breath.

Everyone burst out laughing.

"Does anyone want to know some of the things she's got planned for us next week?" Alice asked

"Hell yeah" Emmett nearly enough shouted.

"Well she's going to make us go out as a family and socialize with other people in our community, great thing that Carlisle has been invited to that event and we can attend," Alice laughed "She's going to make us sit down as a family to have our meals together because she hasn't seen us eat."

"Don't forget that she's debating whether or not to ban us from going shopping, and wants us to join a club, like football or gymnastics, not that we would have any problem at all," I commented.

"She's also setting up our bedtimes, and wants us to clean up around the house, instead of her just doing it." Alice said

"That means we get to make more of a mess, like it said in the manual 'The children will make a bigger mess if they are to clean up'." Emmett quoted

"She thinks that we should have a job, especially the older ones. Bella, Nessie, Alice and me don't have too but the rest of you do." I told them.

"What about us?" Kate asked.

"She's wondering what to do with you lot, she can't exactly kick you out, especially since we told her you were staying with us for a while, but she wants to enforce her rules on you as well." Alice said

"So were going to do as we're told in front of her, and then play up behind her backs, yep I like this plan." Nessie said

We all laughed at that. We headed up to the house, and watched films for the rest of the day, right up until we went to bed, despite the tension; it had been an enjoyable day.

_How was that? Hoped you enjoyed it, don't worry Jacob will be coming back in and, well, when he does he will explain himself, but if anyone has an idea of why he just disappeared that would be helpful!_


	21. The Night Before Day Five

**I know what your wondering, what's happened with Esme? Well I decided that I was going to do one chapter based on all the days leading up till Rule change that way I am not repeatedly repeating my-self as I don't want to make this story annoying.**

**Just before I gone on to my story I would like to thank everyone that has followed/favourited my story and to those who have given me great reviews. It means a lot to me that out there people I don't even know like my story.**

**Disclaimer: Well Wife Swap definitely wasn't created by me, and the Cullen's and Denali's are the proud work of Mrs. Meyer**

_Jacob's POV_

Unbeknown to the others I had been having my pack constantly phoning and texting me for the past 4 days. It was easier whilst the others were at school. I never thought that this could have worked out.

Seeing this... my... family has shown me that everyone deeply cares for one another and if their, bonded as mates, it makes them difficult to be apart.

The fact that Edward had considered me into his family plans was surprising. Then again he knew that I couldn't leave Nessie, I never thought, in all my life, that I would ever be sharing a room with Edward. Then again it did make perfect sense.

_Seriously Jake you're participating on Wife Swap? _Embry had texted me.

_Get lost _I texted him back.

_Jake... Embry just texted. He said you were on Wife Swap is that true? _Leah texted.

_Yes, now please leave me alone. _I texted her back.

At that moment in time I received a call. For love of all that's holy, to my surprise it was Seth, seriously why won't they leave me alone.

This had gone on constantly for three days, they simply wouldn't leave me alone. At one point they had all asked me if they could come up to visit, 'to cause more drama' as Leah had put it, I had ignored them.

It was the night before the forth day that an idea came into my head. When I woke up I realized that Edward wasn't in the room, _must be down in Alice's room planning._ I decided to scribble a quick note that hopefully Edward or someone else would find:

Edward,

Sorry to leave you and the others just like this, but I had to go. Tell Nessie that I will be back soon; tell her that I didn't mean to leave hastily. Please don't call or text me, and please don't try to track me down.

I swear down if you don't find this note I will not let you beat me up for upsetting Nessie, as I know she will be and I don't wish that.

I'll see you guys soon, make up a lie to tell Sarah, and when I come back please play along with what ever plan I come up with please, oh and tell me what you told Sarah so I know.

Thanks.

Jacob

I opened up the window in Edward's room; I could never call it my room, not even when I had to pretend that it was. I was glad that the camera men weren't up yet, as I proceeded to jump out of the third story window. I was halfway through my jump when I phased, shredding my night clothes, luckily where I was going I could easily get some clothes to put on.

_Jacob? _I heard a tentative voice call in my head

_Seth? What are you doing?_

_Oh... uhm... we, well I, am taking a midnight run, you?_

_I was going to surprise you guys by just showing up._ Any way I had an idea... tell you what can you call the others, I wouldn't want to repeat myself again.

With that I heard Seth's piercing howl cut through the quite night.

_Jezz Seth _I heard Leah think _Do you have to be so loud, actually couldn't you just have come home and called everyone..._

_Still self-absorbed_

_Jacob? What the hell? I thought you were busy, wait what are you doing? Where are you going? Are you coming here?_

Leah kept firing questions at me, so fast that I couldn't answer any of them.

_Guys... *yawn* what's going on? Why am I up so early? _ I finally heard Embry think.

_Nice to see you too Embry, any way you three are the ones I wanted to talk to, I want to involve you in with my master plan._

And with that I proceeded to tell them what it was I was going to do, and why I was going to involve them.

_Edward's POV_

During the night we normally gathered in Alice or Emmett's room, but tonight I suggested everyone to come up to mine, unfortunately for us Sarah over heard us.

_Edward think of something quick _Alice mentally through at me.

"So I suggest that everyone brings a sleeping bag, or duvet up with them, as well as many pillows as you can. Girls if you sort out the snacks, us boys will sort out our sleep stuff, agreed?"

"Agreed!" Everyone replied.

"What do you mean that your all going into Edward's room?" Sarah asked cautiously.

"Oh you know," Emmett started "Edward has the biggest closet space so we dare two of us to go in there and kiss for a certain period of time, you know sometimes other stuff." He then said so casually.

_Wait is he being serious? That's gross, how can... wait... how can he even speak of such thing?_ Was the only thought I heard in that moment in time.

"Laugh," I whispered under my breath.

After a few seconds everyone started to laugh, Emmett and Alice were literally rolling on the floor laughing. Rose and Bella looked like they were trying to hold themselves together and everyone else either looked away or put their hand up to their face laughing.

"Does she... think he... was being serious?" Jasper asked between nervous laughs.

"OMG she actually thinks we would do that, *laughs*, I can't believe she would think we were being serious." Rose said.

Carlisle, Eleazar and Carmen came down stairs from Carlisle's office to see what all of the commotion was about. At the sight of what seemed to be all of the children laughing the 'parents' joined in mumbling comments that Sarah could clearly here.

After we stopped I came up with a suitable explanation.

"Before I was so rudely interrupted," I said throwing a glare at Emmett "Normally when something happens with one of us we all gather together for one night to, you know, support one another. I suppose you would call it a sleep over."

"Except we don't sleep." Bella mumbled

Everyone, yet again, burst out laughing.

_That's just weird, why would they want to have a sleep over with their siblings... oh and their cousins... teenage boys and girls shouldn't be in the same room._

Of course I deliberately ignored Sarah thoughts and told the others to sort out things. I set Nessie onto my bed, seeing as I wouldn't be needing it.

"Don't worry Ness he'll be back."

_Are you sure Dad?_

"Yes I am, I know Jacob and I know he will want to come back as soon as possible."

_Ok._

The others loaded into my room and set up what would look like a sleep over. We had decided that we would play some games to pass the time, and seeing how Sarah was going to be checking on us three times we invented some games that would surprise her.

_Daddy? What's this? _Nessie thought.

Everyone noticed my glance up toward Nessie. She handed me a piece of paper that had been folded in half, it had my name on it. For one small moment I remembered the time that I had wrote a note to Jacob that was sent with a wedding invitation.

I opened it up to see that Jacob had written on it.

"Jacob," was all I said.

The others gathered around me to see what was on the piece of paper.

Edward,

Sorry to leave you and the others just like this, but I had to go. Tell Nessie that I will be back soon; tell her that I didn't mean to leave hastily. Please don't call or text me, and please don't try to track me down.

I swear down if you don't find this note I will not let you beat me up for upsetting Nessie, as I know she will be and I don't wish that.

I'll see you guys soon, make up a lie to tell Sarah, and when I come back please play along with what ever plan I come up with please, oh and tell me what you told Sarah so I know.

Thanks.

Jacob

"Well this explains everything?" Rosalie muttered.

"If there's nothing wrong, why can't he tell us what's going on?" Nessie questioned "Does this mean he will be back soon?"

"Yes," we all told her.

"Sarah's coming up in 5 minutes, so I suggest we start that game." Alice chirped.

As she predicted, Sarah came creeping up the stairs quietly to see what was going on. Her attempts at being quiet were pointless of course.

"So if I had to kiss any girl in this room right now," Emmett was saying "I think I would kiss... sorry to the others and no offence, but I think I would kiss Rose. What about you Edward"

"That's a hard one really, but if I had too, I would kiss Bella."

"Why's that?" Bella asked playing along.

"Well I wouldn't kiss my cousins, as that would be awkward. I sure as hell wouldn't kiss my sister, and with Rose and Alice I've known them long enough to know some things that would put me off."

"Hey!" Alice and Rose said at the same time.

"No offence, but we were speaking in a hypothetical case of course, I wouldn't kiss any of my sisters." I answered.

"Here, here." Garrett, Jasper and Emmett said.

"Ok, Alice who would you kiss?" I asked her.

"Well definitely not you, since you've offended me. Certainly not Emmett, I wouldn't dare to kiss Garrett so it would have to be Jasper, sorry boys." She answered.

_Why are they talking about who would they kiss within their family? Just talking about it is just as sick._

"Oh Garrett, who would you kiss?" Alice asked him sweetly

"Well I've already told the girls this, it would be Kate." He answered

"He says that he prefers a girl who would have a little attitude, so if it came down between us, I don't have enough attitude apparently." Tanya said.

Everyone burst out laughing.

Sarah checked on us two more times before going to bed. Each time we played a different game that 'disgusted' her. Well at least she doesn't know the whole truth about the family.

Like we had told Sarah we 'stopped up' all night. It was about three O'clock in the morning when I heard someone trying to talk to me, it was Jacob.

_Edward can you come out and meet me, I'm about five miles past the river, please don't tell the others but I need you to come quickly._

"Edward? What's going on?" Jasper asked me.

"I need to go and do something, and I need to go alone for the time being, I'll be back soon please don't follow me, if I need help I'll call." I said before approaching my window.

I opened it up and jumped out. As soon as my feet touched the ground I was off. Sure enough Jacob was waiting for me five miles out past the river, but he was in his wolf form.

_I know you're mad at me for taking off, but I need you to listen to me now. First, I need you to tell me what you've told Sarah, and then I will tell you what's going on._

And with that Jacob and I told each other everything. As I headed back up to the house I remembered Jacob's finally words before he took off again.

_I'll be back but I will be back in the morning, so make sure everyone knows how to react._

I headed up to my room and saw that everyone was still sitting there. They all had worried looks on their faces, which gradually relaxed as I entered the room. I decided to speak first.

"Right, who want to have some fun?" I asked.

I had 7 heads nod at me, but I knew that Nessie would agree as well, and so with that I told them everything.

_So what do you thinks going to happen? I was reading through the reviews I got for my last chapter and I think you guys will love this but I am going to be using them as part of the next chapter. Some of you have actually been thinking along the same lines as me and have guessed correctly._

_I never break a promise, I told you guys that the fun would finally come back on day five, but please still keep guessing and putting ideas down, you never know I might just use them in the story!_

**_Please check out my new story- One Long Weekend for Bella. just started it hope you enjoy it :)_**


	22. Day Five with the Cullen's

**So who wants to know what the master plan is with Jacob and the three wolves? Well you're gonna find out, I seriously couldn't wait to write this piece, seeing as I am using a few ideas from my reviews, but I will change them a little.**

**Disclaimer: Mrs. Meyer is the proud owner of the Cullen's and Denali's, and I (Rhoda) am the proud owner of the ideas within this story, I can't remember who thought up about Wife Swap so don't even ask.**

_Edward's POV_

We talked and planned all night. For discreet purposes I couldn't tell anyone of the most important aspect of the plan, even though I wasn't to know about it, but I so want to hear what everyone's thoughts about it, are.

When Nessie woke up, we informed her that Jacob was coming back to the house. We told her the basics, and I told her only what I told the others. Since we were all waiting under the pretense that Sarah would wake us up, we decided to plan a little bit more.

"Well she knows that we're all in Edward's room." Jasper said.

"So how are we going to wake up then?" Emmett asked.

"Sarah knows the Cullen lot are extremely weird, so us waking up has to hard in her case but easy for everyone else." Bella said.

"How about this," I started "Our dear cousins here wake up without a problem, when Sarah calls they literally jump right up out of bed, and since we're all crammed in here they accidently trip over a few of us, and that can wake them up, by the end of it everyone will have been tripped up on the floor and wide awake at that matter."

"OMG!" Alice exclaimed "That's an excellent idea, let's sort out where everyone will be laying and who trips over who."

Ten minutes later, Nessie was still going to be 'sleeping' on my bed, she would be woken up by the noise. Garrett was going to trip over me, Tanya and Kate would trip over Rose and Bella, so on and so forth.

_Sarah POV_

When I woke up this morning I felt better than I had before. I got dressed and found myself humming, which was very unusual for me. As usual I headed to Isabella's and Renesmee's room. I actually needed to start calling them Nessie and Bella. When I arrived both of their beds were empty, that's when it came crashing down on me.

They were all up in Edward's room.

Shakily I headed up to Edward's room, the door was fully opened, I found all of the children fast asleep on the floor, on a second glance I noticed that Renesmee... Nessie was asleep on Edward's bed.

I knocked on the door loudly. Unsurprisingly none of the Cullen's so much as twitched. Surprisingly the Denali children jumped straight up, and I mean they literally jumped up out of bed. What happened in the next few seconds made me forget that there was a camera crew just behind me, the awful moment forever caught on camera.

To say it was like a domino affect would be an understatement. Just as I was about to call out, the three Denali kids managed to trip over the sleeping bodies of Edward, Rosalie and Isabella, I mean Bella. As they landed on the floor, the three Cullen kids had got up, but they quickly tripped up over their siblings, it seemed that when one of them stood up they would trip each other over. In the end I had 9 teenaged children wide awake, splattered across the room.

"Guys do you have to be so... wait what the hell happened in here?" I saw Renesmee say.

This was the only words that came out in that short moment of time.

Then it happened.

They started screaming, whether it was because of pain or because they wanted who ever it was on top of them to get off I will never know. Next thing I know the parent of these kids had entered the room and they quickly helped everyone up onto their feet before asking what happened.

"Well I... I mean Kate, Tanya and I must have been the only one too hear the knock on the door, we jumped up rather quickly, I think we just forgot where we were. Next thing you know everyone's tripping up on everyone." Garrett explained.

"The noise woke me up." Nessie said.

"Ok, everyone downstairs in 15 minutes, this is the last time you will ever sleep in one person's room, next time you'll go down to the basement." Carlisle calmly said.

Just when I had hoped things would be normal.

_Edward's POV_

We over played it. We went over the top. The funniest thing was when Sarah finally remembered that there was a camera crew just behind her, and she realized that this was caught on camera.

When Carlisle came in to sort us out he mentally thought to me _Just when I thought things couldn't get any funnier... you guys are really playing up to this, seriously how bad would it be if I laughed at this matter?_

I told him later that he would have come across as a care-free father, who laughs at his children's mistakes and stupidity and Sarah would sure as hell change that quickly.

For the next hour or so we kept mostly to ourselves. We talked in groups of two or three, waiting for a phone call or text message, for when Jacob was ready. After a while a drifted over too my piano and began playing the first tune that popped into my head, Ness came over and start playing along with me.

_Edward? You guys ready for some fun?_

Jacob.

My phone started to ring at that moment in time, everyone stopped what they were doing. From what I gathered I was going to have a one-sided conversation.

"Hello... Oh hey where are you... Jacob I didn't catch that... what happened... I'm sorry about that... are you close by... where at, I'll come meet you... why not... Jacob you can't be left on your own... because we're worried... we sure as hell do care about you... Jacob?"

"What was that about?" Rose asked.

"He hung up on me... oh his cousin was in a car crash somewhere, he's alive." I answered in a monotone.

Nessie's head then shot up, she made a bolt to the front door, and everyone followed her. She ran out of the door and basically tackled Jacob to the ground in a big hug.

_Why the hell is she acting like that? You'd think she loved him the way she was acting; I'm over thinking stupid things. _Sarah was thinking.

"Run out to him, do the same as Ness has." I whispered quickly and quietly.

And that's what we all did, I pulled Jacob up from the ground with the help of Emmett, not that I needed it. And then we all hugged and lightly punched Jacob before dragging him inside.

"Why the hell did you just take off Jacob Black? You should have told us, we've been worried sick..." Ness began, before realizing her mistake.

"Why do you all still call me Jacob Black, I'm a Cullen now, am I not?"Jacob asked to cover her mistake up quickly.

"Jake, we call you Jacob Black only when you've seriously pissed us off or when you do stupid things like this." Bella said.

"Sure let's see shall we, Bella Swan, Emmett McCarty, Mary Alice Brandon..." Jacob paused briefly.

"Let's continue that list Jacob, or have you forgot, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Whitlock, Edward Mason and Renesmee Mason." Rose continued before she realized her mistake.

"Seriously sis, do you still refer me as a Whitlock? Have you forgotten that, that guy wasn't even my dad, I'm a Hale remember." Jasper quickly covered for her.

Shit, we were making stupid mistakes.

"Sorry Jazz I was just going off from what's on your birth certificate." Rose then said.

"Well I'm gonna find it, burn it, and get a new one." He concluded.

"Back to the question in matter," Rose said with half a smile on her face "Just because we all have a different last name than Cullen doesn't mean that we don't refer back to it."

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." Jacob replied.

_Seriously what a messed up family _Sarah was currently thinking.

At that I had to roll my eyes, she had no idea of how messed up our family would be if we were all human.

"That still doesn't explain why you just took off with no explanation." Bella said.

"I am 20 remember, I am legally old enough to do some things without permission, and any way why does it really matter, just a family crisis and I'm back here now, so who care?" He asked rhetorically

"We do..."

"You know what I'm sick of this, I'm just gonna throw my self to the wolves." He answered back.

"Good," we replied in return.

Sarah thought Jacob was speaking in a metaphorical case, as did everyone else. Though they were laughing silently because Jacob just referred to what he was. Jacob stood up and went out of the front door, everyone including Sarah followed.

Jacob turned around and said "Ok here goes nothing..."

He whistled loudly before throwing himself backwards, the three wolves that came out converged over him quite quickly whilst teasing him in their thoughts. That's when Sarah started screaming.

Everyone else was amused, but glad that the wolves had shown up, when they looked at me they realized that I had kept this from them, so naturally some of them were seething.

"You have to help him, don't just stand there smiling." Sarah was yelling.

Rose turned around to face her and asked "Why... he's fine."

"What do you mean he's fine, he's being attacked by wolves right in front of you."

"There not wolves," Emmett told her.

"Oh no... guy's save me, help me." Jacob was calling out in a sarcastic voice "Someone save me before they eat me alive, I'm too young to die... I'm sorry God please help me."

"Having fun Jake?" Bella casually asked.

"No not really... it's kind of boring actually these guys are no fun." He responded casually.

Seth then started to laugh, which caught Sarah by surprise.

_OMG! She's as thick as she claimed to be Jake, did any of you actual believe him_

_No not all _Leah thought _we wouldn't dare to eat Jacob, one he wouldn't be a nice meal and two he's our Alpha for Pete's sake._

_I wanna have some more fun let's go 'attack' the vampires shall we? _Embry thought.

_Please tell me that you are saying that in the joking sense or there is no way I will let that happen _Seth told him

_You know he's joking Seth, let's scare this Sarah woman some more then we can phase and pretend that we watched this scene from afar,_

_Good idea Leah _Seth and Embry thought.

So the wolves left Jacob, who was currently on the ground, and 'attacked' us instead. We all playfully fighted with one another, it was about five minutes later when Sarah passed out.

_Oops _Leah, Seth and Embry thought.

They quickly hurried into the tree line to phase. In no time they were dressed and started to head back up to the house. Emmett picked Sarah up and carried her inside before laying her down on the couch. We decided to sit on the floor, waiting for our friends to show up.

_You guys are insane you know that right? Seriously if I laugh now I'm going to be a terrible person _Carlisle thought towards me.

By the time Sarah came back around, Carlisle was checking her pulse, BP and heart rate. It was only two minutes later that our wolf friends knocked on the door before entering.

_How rude of them? They should wait for someone to answer the door..._

"Hey guys... long time no see." I called out.

"Hey Edward," Seth said coming over to give me a hug.

At that we all stood up and greeted them, in a way that would make it seem that they had just come up.

"So, are you guys in town for the holidays?" I asked.

"Yeah we are," Embry said trying not to laugh

_Please don't say that these guys will be staying as well _Sarah was complaining.

"We were wondering if we could spend some time with you guys, would we be able to use the cottage to stay?" Seth asked.

From the main house we had two cottages that were about a 5 minute, vampire and wolf, run away. We graciously said yes, and of course Sarah was internally complaining. Jacob introduced the guys as his cousins, Leah and Seth being from one side, Embry on another. Well he called hardly say that they were his brothers and sister, in the technical sense.

They stayed up at the main house until 7pm.

"Man is it good to see you guys again, were busy tomorrow bringing our stuff up but we'll come and see you guys after that, if that's okay." Seth asked.

"Seth you know Esme would be delighted to see you guys, of course it's okay, if you need any help just give us a call." Carlisle said.

With that they went off to the cottage to the left side of us. We decided then to talk about things we could do for some fun, Garrett said 'Have a comedy night' which was initially laughed at until we realized that it would be in fact, fun.

So we told the grown-ups what we were planning, and told them that we needed to be up early in the morning, 6am to be precise, and that we were going to bed at 9. Which, according to Sarah, is the earliest that we've ever gone.

And with that our night truly began.

_Not what you expected is it? Well I did have another idea originally but I forgot what it was, but I do remember that I only wanted them to be in one chapter, but then I decided that I wanted to wolves to stick around a bit longer, so there is going to be a big surprise with them just after the rule change._

_Any way, if anyone had any ideas of any jokes that can be used in the comedy night, which is in the next chapter, then I may include them in, but you'll have to be specific of which character is going to say the joke._

_Hope you enjoyed this!_


	23. Comedy Night

**Sorry that it's taken so long to update, I've had this for a while but i didn't get the opportunity to upload until today.**

**This is the funniest and liveliest chapter that I will do for my story, and it will be the longest by far, and it has given me great joy in writing it, especially writing down the jokes and having Sarah's opinion on it.**

**Disclaimer: As usual, Rhoda Presley (My name) does not, and will not ever own any of the Cullen or Denali characters that appear in the following chapter.**

**(Sorry, as I was typing the disclaimer above I heard my-self thinking it in a director/movie style voice, it sounded funny to me****.****)**

_Sarah POV_

After yesterday dynamics I had hoped that this day would be a good one before rule change came, and I turned this family around. The children had told all of the grown-ups last night that they were going to hold a comedy night, so they wanted some space to be able to rehearse without anyone disturbing them, Carlisle had granted them the garage and attic and basement to rehearse.

My problems began when I was asked to wake them all up at 6am sharp, which was requested by Alice. They had all gone to bed at 9pm, which is the earliest they've ever gone.

I managed to wake my-self up 10 minutes before six, which was a real surprise for me. I headed of to Alice and Rosalie's room once I was dressed.

I knocked on the door before I entered the room.

"Alice! Rosalie! Tanya!" I shouted. "Come on time to wake up. It's six o'clock so please don't complain at me."

Unsurprisingly, Tanya was the only one who woke up immediately. She smiled at me before she got up off the air bed and woke Alice and Rosalie up.

"Thank Sarah," she said "I see you've had this problem before, in the future just threaten them that you will burn their most prized possession, it works every time."

"What do you mean?" I asked, surprised.

"Watch this," she commanded. "Alice! I'm going to burn all of your clothes if you don't wake up. Rose! I'll destroy that ring of yours if you don't get up."

"Oh no you won't." Was the reply from both girls.

They shot out of bed faster than I could comprehend. Alice went straight into the walk-in wardrobe probably to check if all of her stuff was in there, Rosalie checked her jewelry box, presumably to see if a ring was in there. I left them to their own devices to wake up the boys next door.

"Did I just hear my sister threaten both of yours that she'd destroy their most prized possessions if they didn't get up." I heard a voice say whilst I was still stood outside the room.

"Yeah by the sounds of it, what you sister doesn't realize Garrett is that doing that will also wake up me and Jazz, because they practically scream their response." Emmett responded.

"But hey, it work's, I wonder why Sarah hasn't come to wake us up yet?" Jasper said.

I knocked on the door and called out "Boys I hope you're getting up."

"We are." Was the response I got back.

Two rooms down, two more to go.

On my way to, Isabe... Bella and Renes... Nessie's room, I saw that the door was half way open.

"Seriously our siblings should raise their voice a little bit louder, don't you think? I think that old lady who lives at the far end of town didn't quite catch what they said." Kate was saying.

"Well you're brother always states what he sees, as does your sister." Bella said "But I agree with you our siblings are very loud."

"You know, it would be nice for once that we get woken up the right way instead of because someone's threatening our siblings in order to wake them up." Nessie then said.

"So true," the other two replied.

"Let's go wake up the boys, at least we know how to wake them up without sending them into a panic attack." Bella said before exiting the room with the other two behind her.

"Hey Sarah," they called out.

From upstairs it looked as if though the boys had already been woken up as there was movement quite quickly, and the girls headed straight back down the stairs.

"We should call dibs on the basement." Kate said.

They laughed before heading back into their room.

I headed downstairs to get a bit of piece and quiet before they all came downstairs. My chance of not having to talk to anyone was shattered immediately when I saw that Carlisle, Eleazar and Carmen had convened themselves to the couch. Not wanting to seem rude, I quickly joined them and picked up on the conversation very quickly.

"I think the last time they did anything like this was shortly after Garrett had joined our family, and Edward and Nessie joined yours, as well as Bella." Carmen said.

"So that's what, about... 5 years ago?" Eleazar asked.

"Yeah, it was. I think they did it as a way to bond with one another." Carlisle said.

"Hi parents." I heard the children call out as they came down the stairs.

"Hi children." They called out to the children coming down the stairs.

I didn't understand what was so funny when they all burst out laughing. To me it seemed quite rude not to say the proper title of a person with in your family.

"What time are you putting on the show the?" Carmen asked.

"Well it's going to be a long night, so let's say we start at 4, at least then we know we will be finished before the day ends." Alice answered.

Why did either she or Edward answer the question? It was puzzling to me.

"Of course we could start an hour earlier or later depending on if we get our acts together." Bella casually said.

When they all burst out laughing, I got the feeling that there was a second meaning to her words, it felt like they were laughing at me, but I didn't quite understand.

They all chose their rehearing stations, as they referred it as, and went off for the day. I saw that they only came out to use the bathroom or to grab something to eat. The girls had chosen the basement, and the guys chose the garage, none of them went up to the attic.

At 2 pm they all came through to the living room before telling their parents that they were going to get ready for their show. And so they headed off up stairs.

"So I reckon that we have about 2 hours to spare then." Carlisle mumbled.

"Why's that?" I asked harsher than I intended to.

"Alice will be up their sorting out outfits for them all, that can take a while plus with our girls they will spend a long time perfecting their hair and make-up, they go all out for such simple things." Carmen answered.

Sure enough nearly two hors later they came down stairs. [Unbeknown to Sarah they had actually been talking about how the acts will go out, and who would say what jokes. As well as discussing a few things that would happen during the shows to make them interesting.]

"Ladies and Gentlemen... the children of the proud parents in this very room have prepared for a night like no other," Alice started.

"And like no other this night shall be, there will be laughter, and God hopes there shall be happy tears." Bella continued.

"For it is our greatest pleasure, to entertain those who mean so much to us." Jasper then said.

"So sit back and relax," Garrett said

"And we hope you get and understand the jokes," Kate continued.

"And in advance, we apologize" Tanya said

"If we offend anyone." Rosalie said with a big grin.

"Ok guys, cut it with the crap." Edward said, rolling his eyes.

"Edward..." the all said.

"Basically we hope you enjoy this very much and let's get this party started..." Jacob said.

"Emmett's going to begin, so everyone should sit down." Nessie said.

Emmett stood in the middle of the living room floor. He began pacing for side to side, like he was nervous.

"Did I ever tell you," he began "That I was bullied in school."

"Awwwh..." the others called out.

"Guys that really doesn't help. I was bullied by pirates."

They all started laughing.

"How can you do that? I was also bullied by hyenas."

They all then clapped.

"And seals, you guys just don't get it do you?"

Everyone burst out laughing. Oh... now I got it. I actually thought for a second he was being serious. Bullied in school, everyone says awwwh, he replies by pirates, they then laugh, he tells them by hyenas as well, so then they clap, so he tells them by seals also. I really needed to keep up.

"Any way, yesterday this guy bet me to walk around the world in 80 days, I told him I could do it in 2 seconds, he says 'how?'. I grab the world globe that's was on the teachers desk and walked around it, '"See" I told him "It's a world record"' that guy stormed off, and I still don't know why"

Everyone burst out laughing again, I joined in as well.

"I was walking into town when this woman came running frantically up the road, she stopped when she saw me and said 'Have you seen Yoda?' I asked her 'From Star Wars?' she said 'No, from my home' I told her that I had never seen Yoda at her home, so she told me to keep a look out for her. Anyway about an hour later I saw this dog that was trapped in a bush by the park so I thought I'd go over and help the poor thing out, as I looked at it's name collar it read 'Yoda', do you know how much of an idiot I felt."

Everyone laughed again.

This carried on for another 20 minutes, Emmett really did give everyone a good laugh. Maybe he could be a comedian in the future.

"Thank you everyone for listening, next up is Bella. The floors all yours little sis." Emmett said before sitting down.

"Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the tallest Mountain in the world?" She asked.

Everyone called out suggestions such as Ben Nevis, Mt. Kilimanjaro, and a few others I didn't know, personally I thought it was The Alps.

"Just so that you know, you're all wrong, it was Mt. Everest." She told us.

Everyone laughed, apart from me.

"You just asked us which was the tallest mountain, before it was discovered." I said feeling a little dumb.

"It was still the tallest even before it was discovered."

Oh.

"Ok... moving on." She said before continuing "Jim's car is swerving all over the road..."

"Bella this had better be better." Rosalie told her.

Jacob said, "It will be."

"Anyway... A cop pulls him over. He say's "Step out of the car, I'm going to need you to take a breathalyzer test."

Jim replies "I can't. You see I have really bad asthma that could set off an attack."

"Ok then," the cop replies "Then I will need to take a blood sample."

"Can't do that either," Jim responds "I'm hemophilic, if a wound is opened it won't stop bleeding, so I could bleed to death."

"Alright," the cop responds "Then you'll have to do a urine sample."

"That's not possible either," Jim tells him "You see I'm a diabetic so that could push my blood sugar level real low."

"Fine," the exasperated cop says "Then can you step out of the car and walk in a straight line."

"Can't do that either." Jim says

"Why not?" the cop asks desperately

"Well... because I'm drunk."

Everyone burst out laughing, it was a really good joke.

"I told you so." Jacob said to Rosalie.

"Hey Jake, don't you know 'I told you so' has a brother, he's called 'shut the hell up'" Bella said.

"Haha, very funny Bells, I've heard that before."

"So you should have," she told him before continuing.

Much like Emmett's act Bella's lasted for a total of 30 minutes, it probably would have been less time, but more likely than not she had to explain a few of her jokes. Next up was Garrett.

"A policeman saw a man walking down the street with a penguin. He told the man to take the penguin to the zoo. 'Good idea,' the man said, and off he went. The next day, the policeman saw the man again, he still had the penguin. 'I told you to take that penguin to the zoo,' the policeman said. 'I did,' the man replied. 'He really enjoyed that, so today I'm taking him to the cinema."

"Nice one Garrett," Eleazar said.

"Thanks, now I'm going to do my usual silly jokes. What do you call a deer with no eyes?" He asked

"No idea." Everyone answered

"What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?" He then asked

"Still no idea." Everyone answered.

"What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs, and is on fire?" he then asked.

"Still flaming no idea." The rest of the children answered.

It seemed that in his act Garrett included the audience more; he did a lot of knock-knock jokes, my favorite being when he said "Do you all know me."

Everyone answered "Yes."

"Knock, knock." He said

"Who's there?" we all said.

"I thought you said you knew me."

After he had finished both of his sisters went up. They did I great act together. One would tell the joke, and the other would either answer it or 'try to' before the other explained. Although a few times they made mistakes, I didn't know if it was accidental or on purpose but I kept my mouth shut.

By the time Jacob got up he started to tell a lot of 'dumb blonde' jokes, and it seemed that he was directing them at Rosalie. When I looked over at her it looked as if though she was mumbling something under her breath. ["Don't worry dog, I will be getting you back for this, that's for sure." She had whispered quietly, so that everyone but the human would hear.]

When he finally told some other jokes, that weren't really funny, I felt as if though they were being targeted at me. Though I wasn't so sure when I saw Nessie run out of the room, crying.

[In the other room, what Sarah didn't realize was that Nessie had been told to run out of the room, when the jokes got so bad, crying so that it would seem like Jacob had upset her in some way, in the other room Nessie was trying so hard to not burst out laughing.]

I saw Carlisle stand up and head out of the room whilst the children looked on in his direction. Everyone turned around to look at Jacob, actually glare was the better word.

Jacob quickly wrapped up his act by introducing Rosalie up. It seemed as if though he didn't want to continue, I thought that was a wise choice.

"I'm sorry my dear brother, but Nessie and I were doing an act together and you've upset her so I can hardly perform on my own, Jasper you can go." She said looking at her brother.

[In the other room Carlisle was talking to Nessie. "Why did you run out of the room?" He asked her.

"Alice saw that Sarah would think it was directed at her, but you know Jacob so I got asked if I could run out crying seeing as the only people who can cry tears are me and Jacob." She answered honestly.

"But why are you guys doing this?" he'd asked.

"Well when you see what Sarah has in store for us all next week, you'll understand. We're having a group meeting tonight so you can be fully updated on everything, don't worry Pop's everything will soon make sense." She replied before they headed back into the living room.]

As Jasper was finishing up his act I saw Carlisle and Nessie walk back into the room. Carlisle had his arm draped over her shoulder, and before she sat down with the others he hugged her. I had never felt so jealous in my whole life; my relationship with my _real_ children was never like that, ever.

I saw Rosalie whisper something in Renesmee's... Nessie's, damn it, ear. Nessie nodded her head and the two girls stood up.

"Hey Ness, have you heard the story about Goldilocks?"

"Sure, the one where she comes across a charming house that was hidden in the middle of the woods, she steps inside and sees that no-one is home. And then she feels hungry and comes across 3 bowls of porridge. And she tastes each one till its just right."

"Yeah well I heard that after that she was feeling tired so she headed up the stairs, she went into the bedrooms of the first two doors but neither bed was right, so she went to the third door, when she opened it she got a surprise. Inside there was three little pigs."

"I'm guessing she told them that they were in the wrong fairy tale."

"Well one of the pigs said to her 'No we're not, this is a two-story house."

Everyone started laughing again.

Nessie then said "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a cup of tea."

Rosalie then said "So do I. Make me one while you're at it."

They told a lot more doctor, doctor jokes switching roles a lot. They were quite funny and everyone got a good laugh out of them. When they had finished they said that it was Edward's turn.

"Sorry guys. I don't know any jokes. I guess the laugh has taken it out of me. Sorry I meant the jokes have taken it of me, no... Wait, someone help me please?" he said.

Alice stood up and made her way over to him. For a moment I was puzzled but the looks on the children's faces showed that they weren't.

"Seriously Edward, you'll never make a joke at this rate. I know the saying goes 'slow and steady wins the race' but in this case it doesn't"

Everyone but me, was stifling a laugh.

"Alice you're awfully small, to be so majorly irritating."

"And yet when you so tall, you can't even make a tall order."

At that everyone, but me, was laughing. I was still puzzled by what was going on, after a minute I realized that they were doing an act together, I felt so stupid to not realize.

Alice and Edward were making jokes about one another, as well as other family members. A few times I heard gasps, or I would saw someone look down or away in embarrassment. By this point I looked up at the clock to see that it was 9.45pm, I had to admit time had flown by.

Just when I thought this whole thing was over, all of the kids stood up and started singing an unfamiliar song, in an unfamiliar language, but I was guessing Spanish.

[It was a song they had titled 'Forever too deep', they had spent the night working it out, they were singing their song in Spanish as they had found out it sounded romantic and caring.]

After they had finished their parents stood up and clapped for them all. That was before praising them and giving them hugs. After a while they informed their children that it was time to go to bed, and without complaining, like the night before, they went straight upstairs.

Thank God for that.

_Just a quick update about the pause before '5 years ago', as you maybe aware they are talking in decades, in this case they were just saying that last time they did something like this was a long time ago, but imagine if they had said 50 years ago, what do you think Sarah's face would look like? Priceless I bet. It's funny to joke about things like that though, especially considering that in the process they would have told another lie._

_The text that are in these [ ] are set in a third person perspective so that it gives you guys an insight of what is going on without having to change the character POV._

_When I originally typed this, that part where Carlisle asks Ness why she 'ran out of the room' actually said, 'room out of the room', I quickly realized my mistake._

_I really hoped you all enjoyed this. The song that is titled isn't a real song, just a title that I created as I love making up songs._


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